Jans writings


She clawed at her head as the anguish marched on.

Before she knew it the words became a riot and they circled, like swarming wasps

except the sting was relentless.

No matter how hard she tried she screamed,

the noise would not escape her head.

No matter how hard she cried,

the feelings would not drown.

Except she was.

Like the waves consume the shore

the feelings would consume her

until she didn’t know anything else

but the crashing of her head

and the slow erosion of all that she was.

Now the girl with the beautiful face lays calm

and still like the ocean floor

after a brutal storm.

The weight of perfection

suffocated her soft lips and delicate lungs

her contrived smile

was cracked by a short lifetime of exhaustion and strain.

She had a head as strong as the waves,

but her heart drowned

in the violence of it.

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