Sometimes your emotions and expressions of emotions can adversely affect your relationships with others. One such emotion is anger. While anger is not a bad emotion, natural and healthy that everyone experiences, anger can become a problem if it becomes a frequent or overwhelming feeling. The exercises in this section can help you assess and address problems with anger.
Here is something very important we have to talk about. You do have control over your anger. What you think, what you say to yourself triggers your anger. You can gain control of your anger by changing your thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions about other people’s behavior.
There is nothing automatic about getting angry. Pain, unfairness, and other people do not make you angry. Thoughts make you angry; beliefs and assumptions make you angry. You have the opportunity to examine the traditional beliefs and assumptions that are the cognitive foundations for anger and the necessary prerequisites for every angry outburst you have ever experienced.
The cognitive triggers for anger fall into one of two categories: Shoulds and Blamers. What I am working through is an explanation of how Shoulds and Blamers create a distorted, anger-inciting picture of reality that leaves one feeling victimized and controlled by others. We should look at trigger thoughts and replace them with new, more forgiving awarenesses.