Top 75 funny affirmations

  • Put on your positive pants
  • Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it
  • Why become moody when you can shake your booty
  • When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “plot twist” and move on
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside
  • Was it a bad day? Or was it a bad five minutes that you milked all day?
  • Some see a weed, I see a wish
  • Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up
  • Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow
  • Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat
  • Chin up princess or the crown slips
  • If life give you melons you might be dyslexic
  • I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today
  • Excuse, I have to go be awesome
  • Think like a proton always positive
  • Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip
  • I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. They have show me exactly who I do not want to be
  • Not everyone has to like you. Not everyone has taste.
  • We get so worried about being “pretty” let’s be pretty kind, pretty funny, pretty smart, pretty strong.
  • Be brace. Even if you’re not, pretend to be.
  • Get your happy on
  • When shit happens turn it into fertilizer
  • It’s ever too late to get your shit together
  • How to be successful: focus on your own shit
  • Be happy, it drives people crazy
  • Don’t worry about those who talk behind your back, they’re behind you for a reason
  • Compliment people: magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses
  • You can’t make everyone happy. You aren’t a jar of Nutella
  • Life is better when you’re laughing
  • Dear universe, I am totally open to some awesome coming my way
  • Amazing things happen when you distance yourself from negativity
  • If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes
  • Every time you are able to find some humor in a difficult situation, you win
  • If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.
  • Cry a river. Build a bridge. Get over it.
  • Surround yourself with pizza not negativity
  • Don’t ruin a good today by thinking about a bad day yesterday. Let it go
  • The idea is to die young. As late as possible.
  • Remember even your worst days on have 24 hours
  • If you cannot be positive then at least be quiet
  • Nothing can dim the light that shines from within
  • Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right
  • Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up
  • What consumes your mind, controls your life
  • Expect nothing and appreciate everything
  • No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up, show up and never give up.
  • Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle
  • You may think you’ll never get over it, but you will, and you’ll be fine
  • A negative mind will never give you a positive life
  • Worry about loving yourself, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you
  • Kill them with success and bury them with a smile
  • You have to be odd to be number one
  • You mistakes don’t define you
  • No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart
  • Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny
  • Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.
  • A secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be
  • It’s important to give it all you have while you have the chance
  • Your past is just a story and once you realize this, it has no power over you
  • Be thankful for all the troubles that you don’t have
  • Don’t forget to be awesome
  • And in that moment I swear I still didn’t give a shit
  • To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.
  • Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it
  • You are good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, and strong enough. Believe it and never let insecurity run your life.
  • Your vibe attracts your tribe
  • Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody
  • I’m gonna make the rest of my life. The best of my life.
  • It is what it is. Accept it and move on.
  • Never let somebody waste your time, twice.
  • Don’t let your fear of what could happen making nothing happen
  • Broken crayon still color
  • I release all disease from my body and welcome health, love, and happiness into my life
  • Oh, yes you certainly fucking can
  • I persevere. I am relentless. I keep going.
  • Each day, I automatically and successfully get healthier and healthier
  • I love taking good care of myself
  • You can and you will
  • You must believe it to receive it
  • Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go
  • Slow down. Calm down. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. Trust the process.
  • Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
  • In every moment of my day. I radiate calmness & tranquility. I am still within myself.
  • Take a second to think about how blessed you are.
  • Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on
  • Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it

I hope you have enjoy these amazing top 75 list of funny daily affirmations. Make sure to bookmark this page for future reference when in need of affirmations.

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