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What Is Radical Acceptance?

Radical acceptance is one of the techniques taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that can help you to better deal with painful emotions and situations. Understanding radical acceptance and having a way to practice it can help you feel better about your emotions and your situation.

Dr. Marsha Linehan, the developer of DBT, defines radical acceptance as “complete and total” acceptance, where you “accept something from the depths of your soul.” Radical acceptance has its roots in Buddhism.

The three parts to radical acceptance are:
•Accepting reality is what it is
•Accepting that the event or situation causing pain has a cause
•Accepting that life can be worth living even if it has painful events in it

How to Practice Radical Acceptance

There are many ways you can practice the DBT technique of radical acceptance. Here are a few to get you started:

Sit with your feelings. As an exercise in understanding radical acceptance, Dr. Linehan suggests thinking back to a time when you had something you wanted (the possibility of your dream job, having just applied and interviewed for it), and then what it felt like when you learned you did not have what you wanted (you did not get the job). Just sit with how you felt, without any judgment around it.

Dr. Linehan acknowledges that when you practice radical acceptance, you have a sense of “letting go of the struggle” or you may have a feeling inside of being centered. She also acknowledges that there may be a great deal of sadness around the acceptance.

Visualize the path to reality. One way to begin understanding and practicing radical acceptance is by learning to turn your mind to the reality you are trying to accept. To help do this, you might visualize a fork in the road, with one path to reality (which you are working to accept). You must constantly put yourself on the “reality” part of the road.

Meditation and breathing. You might also consider gaining skill in radical acceptance as part of a meditation practice. There are several online resources that can guide you through this, or you can create your own activity. This one comes from the website DBT Self-Help:

Start by taking three deep breaths, filling your belly with air. Exhale slowly and inhale slowly. Notice the exhale as it leaves your lungs. Introduce a few simple phrases to validate your experience and help practice radical acceptance.

You can remind yourself that your emotions are not wrong and that you are justified in having them. You can tell yourself that, even if you are hurt and you feel wronged, it’s time to let go. You can accept that you will benefit by setting aside your emotions just for now.

It’s not good to think about your situation at this moment. Instead, take care of yourself. Touch your elbow. Is the skin rough or smooth? Touch the other elbow. What does it feel like? Sit back and breathe. Then touch the other part of each elbow. How does that skin feel? You are present and connected with yourself. Take a few more deep breaths. Trust yourself that, at that moment, you are okay.

Radical acceptance helps you accept your emotions without judgment. This may not always be easy to do, but it can help you better regulate your emotions, tolerate distress, be mindful, and improve interpersonal relationships – all key tenets of Dialectical Behavior Therapy.