Accepting crisis might be a bit of a frightening proposition. None of us invites crisis to visit us, and yet every one of us will have crisis as part of our lives. Crisis can often make you feel out of control, especially if you experience emotions more intensely than most. If you also have the feeling that you cannot handle what you are going through, it can make things really difficult.

Crisis is defined by the individual, and can be triggered by huge things such as a death in the family, loss of a relationship, or loss of a pregnancy. It can also be triggered by small things such as not liking your hair one day or realizing you planned two things to happen at one time. Whatever the cause, large or small, it is necessary to be skillful in order to get through crisis.

I recently had to give a presentation at a hospital. I had a lot of anxiety about the proposition. I would be developing the presentation specifically for hospital staff working with people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I also had all of my normal responsibilities. I have household chores, two small children, a wife in nursing school, and two jobs. Without careful planning these things mount up and create crisis. So, I got a panicked feeling, noticed anxiety like a little electricity in my chest, tightness in my shoulders, and a sense that I could not do this!

The key to handling crisis is to get through it without making it worse. When we feel emotionally overwhelmed, especially if the emotion is really intense, we are more likely to do all sorts of things we will regret later. We may drink, use drugs, cut, attempt suicide, have risky sex, run away, or spend lots of money. All of these things feel good immediately, but have larger consequences down the road. So, how do we handle these crisis moments?

Handling Crises through ACCEPTS

We can handle crises through the acronym ACCEPTS, which is taught in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Activities can help briefly distract us from the crisis and center our mind a little more. Contributing to something bigger than yourself can give perspective. It does not have to be formal volunteering, maybe just get someone a glass of water in your house.

Comparisons can help by comparing yourself to a time when you were doing better and realize that you will not always be in crisis. Do things that evoke other Emotions. Read a funny book, watch a scary movie, listen to calming music. Push the crisis away for a little bit. The crucial part here is a “little bit.” Push away too long and we get avoid, and that generally what creates crisis in the first place!

Use other Thoughts, any thoughts. Count silverware, do math in your head, anything to put another thought in there. And use Sensations. Cold works especially well to shock you back into the moment. Cold to the face has a physical effect on the brain at the emotion center. Crazy, but true. You can also use sour candy, tangy fruit, or a wall (sit until your legs burn like crazy).

The title of this article is “Accepting Crisis” because we cannot do anything about a situation until we accept that we are in it. I put off preparing for my presentation about a million times, approximately. When we cannot change a situation, we need to accept (or acknowledge) that situation.

Focusing on breathing is a great way to acknowledge the moment. Concentrate on your breath all the way in to your abdomen and all the way back out.

Become aware of where you are. I am sitting in a chair. I feel where my back and buttocks are hitting the chair. I feel the smoothness of the keys as I type. I see the letters form on the screen. Become aware of every little nuance.

There is a lot more to learn about dealing with crisis and accepting. You’ve gotten just a taste of all the powerful skills that Dialectical Behavior Therapy has to offer, so check back often for more help and insight on using DBT skills.