10 Ways to Boost Your Emotional Health

Keep your emotional health in great shape with these self-esteem boosting tips.

Taking care of your emotional health is as important as taking care of your physical body. If your emotional health is out of balance, you may experience high blood pressure, ulcers, chest pain, or a host of other physical symptoms.

When you feel good about yourself, it’s much easier to cope with life’s little ups and downs as well as bigger events, such as divorce or a death, says Jeff Gardere, PhD,a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City.

Here are 10 ways you can practice better stress management and boost your self-esteem. These strategies will help you stay resilient through everyday stresses and when larger personal issues arise.

1. Grow your circle of friends. “It’s very important that you have a support group of friends and family,” Gardere says. “You need people whom you can talk to about your problems — people who will listen to you when you need to get things off your chest — so that you know you’re not alone in whatever it is.”

2. Learn more. “Knowledge is power,” Gardere says. If you have a problem, learn whatever you can about the issue or the health condition you’re facing. The more you know, the less you will fear what might happen, Gardere says.

3. Get moving. Any form of exercise that you enjoy will do. “Regular exercise works as a good partner for people who are on medication,” Gardere says. Exercise also works well for people who have mild or moderate depression and don’t need to be on medication. Think of it as a great tool for stress management.

4. Have sex. Intimacy within a committed relationship has all sorts of emotional benefits — it can help make you feel good about yourself and boost self-esteem. “Figure out a schedule that works for you and your trusted partner — that could be once a week or three times a week or twice a month,” Gardere says.

5. Develop a passion. Everyone should have at least one hobby, Gardere says, whether it’s taking care of plants, collecting antiques, or listening to music. You should do something that brings you some real joy — a passion that’s all yours and that no one can take from you. Having a hobby and taking pride in it is a great way to boost self-esteem.

6. Eat and drink in moderation. Alcohol can be a good stress reducer, but you must indulge in extreme moderation, Gardere says. The same advice applies to indulging in food. You can eat what you want and enjoy it as long as you eat smaller portions and get regular exercise, he says. Maintaining a healthy weight is important for your physical and your emotional health.

7. Meditate or practice yoga. These types of activities are effective for stress management. Meditation is a focused form of guided thought. Yoga and tai chi, while movement-oriented, are also proven stress busters.

RELATED: Surprising Pros and Cons of a Bad Mood

Other stress-reducing techniques include deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. If you’re unsure of how to get started, take a class and learn how to practice on your own for 30 minutes, three times a week.

8. Manage your time. If you make a schedule and set goals for yourself for the week, “you’ll be more on top of your days, and when you’re more on top of your days, you’re more on top of your life,” Gardere says. As you cross off the tasks on your to-do list, you will feel a sense of accomplishment which will help reduce stress, he adds.

9. Get enough sleep. “People who get a good night’s sleep wake up with more energy and tend to be more productive,” Gardere says. If you are overly tired, every task and responsibility can seem exaggerated, and even small problems will feel like big ones.

10. Learn to say no. If you try to do more than you can handle, you will only end up frustrated and stressed out. If someone asks you to do something you absolutely can’t do, say no. At the very least, ask for help. And if you can’t do it, explain why kindly but firmly.

Nurturing your mind is as important as nurturing your body, and it will make you better able to handle whatever life throws at you. However, if your emotional problems are serious and you can’t seem to shake them yourself, or if you’re having issues with anxiety or depression, it’s very important that you see a mental health professional and get help, Gardere says.

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How Prayer Strengthens Your Emotional Health

Prayer and spirituality can help ease depression and act as a cushion when life throws curve balls your way.

Key Takeaways

People who pray often may see some health benefits, such as feeling more peace in the face of chronic illness.

Prayer and religious participation could keep you healthy by relieving stress and connecting you to other people.

Praying and attending religious services hashelped recovering addicts avoid relapses.

Saying a small prayer to get through a difficult time is not unusual. A plea for help from a higher power is one way people seek and find the benefits of spirituality. But a connection to something greater than yourself offers more than just hope — it strengthens emotional health, too.

How Prayer and Spirituality Protects Emotional Health

There are challenges to studying the impact of prayer, notes psychologist Crystal Park, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Connecticut in Storrs. For example, people who pray often and are active with their faith communities might be making generally healthier decisions, such as taking fewer risks or avoiding smoking and drinking. It’s also possible that people are praying too erratically — in crises only, for example — for researchers to know just what effects it can have on well-being, Dr. Park says.

“That peace, that sense of meaning and connection that happens with prayer is what is positive,” Park says. “Those kinds of things have physiological effects on the body, such as calming your cardiovascular system and reducing your stress.”

There are several ways in which a regular spiritual practice may improve or protect your emotional health. It can:

  • Offer a bigger sense of purpose. A connection to a greater power or truth can give you a sense of purpose and meaning beyond the day-to-day, Park says.
  • Provide social support. Through practicing your spirituality, you may become involved with a community of like-minded people. An August 2015 review of 78 studies by Park and other researchers published in Cancer found that patients who reported a strong religious or spiritual life also maintained richer social connections.

Another example of the effect of social support with a spiritual connection comes from a study of older adults in Thailand. Those with active Buddhist networks were found to have better daily functioning, according to the study published in 2014 in Geriatrics & Gerontology International.

  • Lift the spirit. Activities related to your spiritual practice or community involvement, such as singing and music, may also have positive effects on emotional health. Participating in a choir offers a support system and may reduce anxiety and depression among cancer survivors and their caregivers, according to study published in 2012 in the journal Ecancermedicalscience.

“I would recommend that if you have faith, rely on it,” Park says. “And if you don’t have a traditional faith, you can cultivate this by relying on other venues that provide that sense of connection, unity, or feeling at peace.” That might include being out in nature, or practicing yoga or meditation. With all the possible positive benefits from prayer and a faith life, she says, “we could, as a culture, be a little more supportive of people relying on those things.”

A Personal Tale of the Power of Prayer

The four cited benefits of spirituality have proven true for Tiffanie Lyon, vice president of operations for TEEM Academy and an associate pastor at First United Methodist Church in Slidell, Louisiana.

“My prayer life and relationship with God keep me grounded and give me a sense of peace, hope, and gratitude in my heart,” says Lyon, 48, whose days are spent juggling the demands of family, a full-time job, and her work as a pastor. “If one can’t look inside oneself and beyond oneself, there is a piece missing to complete the healthy self.”

Lyon traces her personal and professional journey through changes in her prayer life. When she first moved to Louisiana in about 2006, she was trying to rebuild a consulting business. She went through a series of five knee surgeries and took on debt trying to get her business off the ground, and this led her to dig deep into her prayer life.

“Prayer and spirituality are a big part of who I am, and I’m continuing to learn and grow in this area,” she says. “Prayer can give you a sense of peace in the midst of chaos.”

RELATED: How Faith Helps People With Bipolar Disorder

The difficult period of surgery and business struggle led to a change in perspective, she recalls. A friend suggested that she look into ministry, and she began a course of study so she could be a Methodist pastor near her home. She also turned her skills as a businesswoman and a speaker into a job with TEEM Academy, where she and her team match workers with mental or physical disabilities to employers.

The prayer life she nurtured to get through her own tough times has expanded to include prayer for her loved ones and her congregants. “Just recently, my father was diagnosed with treatable stage III lung cancer,” she says. “I’m praying for him and working with him [spiritually].” Lyon says she has a small altar in her room where she prays, often asking for “peace, wisdom, and guidance.” But, she says, she has also learned how to listen even as she prays.

The Health Benefits of Prayer Are Real

Researchers have linked regular spiritual practice with various health benefits, including preventing depression. For example:

  • A September 2015 report published in Health Psychology found that when researchers followed 191 people with congestive heart failure for five years, they found that those who reported feeling spiritual peace — and who also made some healthy lifestyle changes — were significantly more likely to live longer than their peers.
  • People with major depressive disorder or chronic medical illness who report high levels of religiosity, which includes daily religious experiences, generally become more optimistic than their peers, found a study published in July 2015 in Depression and Anxiety.
  • Weekly attendance at a religious service, praying often, and reading religious books all appear to prevent recovering substance abusers from relapsing and again using cocaine, heroin, marijuana, or alcohol, according to research published in June 2015 in the Journal of Reward Deficiency Syndrome.

When Prayers Go ‘Unanswered’

Despite prayer’s positive benefits, there are limits to its power. Serious health problems, such as depression and diabetes, require medical attention. Anyone who has depression or another serious medical condition should seek care from a doctor.

Still, for many people, spirituality plays a key role in coping with whatever life throws your way.

In her own life and work as a pastor, Lyon says she has often seen people struggle with prayers that aren’t answered as desired.

“We won’t have answers to those questions this side of heaven,” she says. “But as long as we know that there is a God, and a God who is walking with us, doing all things for good in the long run, it can help you be a little more centered.”

Last Updated: 12/7/2015
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10 Ways to Rev Up Your Brain and Reduce the Risk of Cognitive Decline

By Angela Timashenka Geiger, Chief Strategy Officer, Alzheimer’s Association

Special to Everyday Health

The brain is your body’s control and command center. Its power is complex, vast, and awe-inspiring — which means the idea of taking care of it can be intimidating.

Recent surveys suggest that an overwhelming majority of people realize they can reduce their risk of cognitive decline. What they don’t know is what to do and where to start.

The potential to lower your risk of cognitive decline lies in many of the same healthy habits that are also good for your health in general. The Alzheimer’s Association released these 10 Ways to Love Your Brain in honor of Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month:

1. Break a Sweat

Exercise isn’t just about looking good for swimsuit season. Several studies have found anassociation between physical activity and reduced risk of cognitive decline. Engage in regular cardiovascular exercise that elevates your heart rate and increases blood flow to the brain and body.

2. Hit the Books

Some of the strongest evidence for reducing risk of dementia revolves around years of formal education — and this doesn’t mean getting an Ivy League degree. It can be as simple as taking a class at a local college or community center or online. Formal education in any stage of life will help reduce your risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

3. Butt Out

The reasons to quit smoking are endless, but you can add that it may help reduce your risk of cognitive decline. Quitting smoking can reduce risk to levels comparable to those for people who have not smoked.

4. Follow Your Heart

You know it’s good for your body, but did you also know it can be good for your brain? Evidence shows risk factors for cardiovascular disease and stroke – obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes — negatively impact your brain and cognitive health. Take care of your heart, and your brain just might follow.

5. Heads Up!

Another evidence-based tip for reducing your risk of cognitive decline: Avoid head injuries. A brain injury can raise your risk of cognitive decline and dementia, so wear a seat belt, use a helmet when playing contact sports or riding a bike, and take steps to prevent falls.

6. Fuel Up Right

Recent surveys suggest more than two out of three people said you can reduce your risk of cognitive decline by eating one or two of the right “superfoods” — a misconception, since there is no research showing that individual foods make a difference. What we do know: Eating a healthy and balanced diet that has more vegetables and fruits can help reduce the risk of cognitive decline. Although research on diet and cognitive function is limited, certain diets, includingMediterranean and Mediterranean-DASH (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension), may contribute to risk reduction.

7. Catch Some Zzzs

You know the feeling: When you don’t get enough sleep, you just feel “off,” and you’re not functioning at full capacity. There are long-term risks as well: Not getting enough sleep due to conditions like insomnia or sleep apnea may result in problems with memory and thinking.

8. Take Care of Your Mental Health

Some studies link a history of depression with increased risk of cognitive decline, so seek medical treatment if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns. Also, try to manage stress.

9. Buddy Up

Those lunch dates with your friends are fun, but they may have a more positive effect than you thought. Staying socially engaged may support brain health, so pursue social activities that are meaningful to you. Find ways to be part of your local community — if you love animals, consider volunteering at a local shelter. If you enjoy singing, join a local choir or help at an after-school program. Or simply share activities with friends and family.

10. Stump Yourself

Six out of 10 respondents in a recent survey thought that the right puzzle, game, or app could reduce their risk of cognitive decline. But helping to keep your brain healthy goes beyond any single tool. Challenging yourself to think in new ways may have short and long-term benefits for your brain. Complete a jigsaw puzzle, do something artistic, or build a piece of furniture. Play games, such as bridge, that make you think strategically.

All of these tips add up to a big boost for your brain. Research has suggested that combining good nutrition with mental, social, and physical activities may have a greater benefit in maintaining or improving brain health than any single activity.

Angela Geiger is the chief strategy officer for the Alzheimer’s Association. Her accomplishments include developing and launching the organization’s first-ever integrated consumer education campaign to raise concern about Alzheimer’s disease as a critical public health issue. She has a variety of conferences and publications, including The Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Takes on Alzheimer’s and Chicken Soup for the Soul: Living with Alzheimer’s & Other Dementias. The Alzheimer’s Association is the world’s leading voluntary health organization in Alzheimer’s care, support and research. The association’s mission is to eliminate Alzheimer’s disease through the advancement of research; to provide and enhance care and support for all affected; and to reduce the risk of dementia through the promotion of brain health.

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9 Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member With Depression

All of a sudden your best friend stops calling. She no longer wants to join you for yoga on Saturday mornings. The last time you saw her she looked fragile and sad, like someone else was living in her body. Her husband doesn’t know what to do so he solicits your help in cheering her up.

Or maybe it’s your sister. She has been struggling with depression for a few months now. She’s been to a psychiatrist and is on an antidepressant, but she doesn’t seem to be making much progress.

What do you do?

I’ve been on the giving and the receiving end of kind-hearted attempts to lift depression more times than I’d like to count. While every case of this maddening mood disorder is unique and responds to different treatments, there are a few universal things you can try to guide your depressed friend or family member down the path of healing and recovery.

1. Educate yourself.

Although people are better educated on depression and anxiety today than they were two decades ago, we still have a long ways to go on understanding how the brain operates: Why some people smile as they get run over by a truck, and others cry uncontrollably at the mere thought of that. It turns out that more is going on in our noggin than just a bunch of lazy neurotransmitters that can’t deliver messages to certain neurons. You don’t have to be a neuroscientist to help a friend or a family member with a mood disorder, but some basic knowledge on depression and anxiety is going to keep you from saying well-intentioned but hurtful things. It’s just hard to help someone if you don’t understand what the person is going through.

2. Ask lots of questions.

Whenever one of my kids gets sick or injured, I start in with a series of questions: Where does it hurt? How long have you felt bad? Does anything make it worse (besides school)? Does anything make it better (besides ice cream)? Just by asking a few basic questions, I can usually get enough information to determine a plan of action. With depression and anxiety, questions are crucial because the terrain is so vast and each person’s experience is so different. Your friend may be so desperate that she’s had a suicide plan in action for weeks, or she could just be under a lot of stress at work. She could be having a severe episode of major depression, or just need a little more vitamin D. You won’t know until you start asking some questions. Here are a few to consider:

  • When did you first start to feel bad?
  • Can you think of anything that may have triggered it?
  • Do you have suicidal thoughts?
  • Is there anything that makes you feel better?
  • What makes you feel worse?
  • Do you think you could be deficient in vitamin D?
  • Have you made any changes lately to your diet?
  • Are you under more pressure at work?
  • Have you had your thyroid levels checked?

3. Help them learn what they need to know.

I used to rely on my doctors to tell me everything I needed to know about my health. I don’t do that anymore, because they don’t know me as well as my family and friends. Psychiatrists and psychologists have expertise in some areas, which can be critical feedback as a person begins to tackle the monster of depression; however, so much other valuable information is tucked away in memories with friends and families that could guide a person out of despair. For example, during this most recent relapse of mine, my older sister kept insisting that I probe into myhormonal imbalances. “You haven’t been well since you’ve had your kids,” she said. “Part of this depression has to be hormonal.” My mom reminded me that thyroid disease runs in our family and suggested I get my thyroid checked out. Initially I was annoyed by their opinions since it required more work on my part. When I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I sought after a holistic physician who could piece together my problems with my thyroid and pituitary glands and address the hormonal imbalances that contribute so heavily to my depression.

You know your sister, friend, brother, or father better than most mental health professionals, so help them solve the riddle of their symptoms. Together consider what could be at the root of their depression: physiologically, emotionally, or spiritually. Where is the disconnect?

4. Talk about stress.

You can be drinking kale and pineapple smoothies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner; meditating with Tibetan monks for eight hours a day; sleeping like a baby at night … and yet, if you are under stress, your veins are flooded with poison and your mind is under fire. About five pages into every psychology book there is a paragraph that says that stress causes depression. I think it should be on page one. There is just no way around it. Stress is bad, bad stuff, and as long as it’s pouring cortisol into your bloodstream, you aren’t going to get well. So one of the biggest jobs of a friend or relative of someone who is struggling with depression is to help the person construct strategies to reduce stress. They don’t need to quit their job. They can keep their kids. However, they may need to make some significant lifestyle changes and be sure to introduce self-care into every day. What is that? Five-minute breaks here and there to take some deep breaths, or an hour massage once in awhile, or maybe a day off here and there to sit by the water, golf, or go for a hike.

5. Talk about support.

It doesn’t matter what the illness is — cardiovascular disease, colon cancer, fibromyalgia — a person needs support in her or his life to fully recover: People with whom they can vent and swap horror stories, folks that can remind them that they are not alone even though their symptoms make them feel that way. Research shows that support groups aid the recovery of a person struggling with depression and decrease chances of relapse. The New England Journal of Medicine published a study in December of 2001 in which 158 women with metastatic breast cancer were assigned to a supportive-expressive therapy. These women showed greater improvement in psychological symptoms and reported less pain than the women with breast cancer who were assigned to the control group with no supportive therapy. Brainstorm with your friend on ways to get more support. Research and share with your friend various groups (onlineor in town) that might be of benefit.

6. Remind them of their strengths.

Just yesterday morning I was having suicidal thoughts during yoga. It was one of those painful hours when I couldn’t stop thinking about how soon I could die. Instead of being gentle with myself, I started comparing myself with a few incredibly accomplished people I swim with — the kind of people who swim across the English Channel for giggles — and tend to make the average person feel pathetic. Later in the day, I went for a walk with my husband, still fighting the death thoughts as we strolled along the rocks bordering the Severn River at the Naval Academy, our favorite route. We were talking about how jealous we were of couples who didn’t have kids (in some ways, not all), how damaged we feel after 13 years of parenting, but how much we’ve evolved as human beings because of all the struggles we’ve endured in that time.

“You’re strong,” he said.

I balked. “No, no I’m not,” I said. I was thinking strong meant swimming the English Channel, not fighting suicidal thoughts in yoga.

“Yes, you are,” he insisted. “You have a 200-pound gorilla on your back constantly. Most people would roll over and give up, coping with booze, pot, and sedatives. Not you. You get up and fight it each day.”

I needed to hear that. In my head, I categorize myself as weak because of the constant death thoughts, when, in reality, the fact that I can accomplish stuff in spite of them means I’m strong.

Remind your friend, sister, brother, or dad of their strengths. Bolster their confidence by recalling specific accomplishments they’ve made and victories they’ve won.

7. Make them laugh.

As I mentioned in my post, “10 Things I Do Every Day to Beat Depression,” research says that laughing is one of the best things we can do for our health. Humor can help us heal from a number of illnesses. When I was hospitalized for severe depression in 2005, one of the psychiatric nurses on duty decided that one session of group therapy would consist of watching a comedian (on tape) poke fun at depression. For an hour, we all exchanged glances like “Is it okay to laugh? I sort of want to die, but this woman is kind of funny.” The effect was surprisingly powerful. Whenever the “black dog” (as Winston Churchill called depression) has gotten a hold of a friend, I try to make her laugh, because in laughing, some of her fear and panic disappear.

8. Pass on some hope.

If I had to name one thing a person (or persons) said to me when I was severely depressed that made me feel better, it would be this: “You won’t always feel this way.” It is a simple statement of truth that holds the most powerful healing element of all: hope. As a friend or family member, your hardest job is to get your friend or brother or dad or sister to have hope again: to believe that they will get better. Once their heart is there, their mind and body will follow shortly.

9. Listen.

You could disregard everything I’ve written and just do this: listen. Suspend all judgments, save all interjections … do nothing more than make excellent eye contact and open your ears. In her bestselling book, “Kitchen Table Wisdom,” Rachel Naomi Remen writes:

I suspect that the most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. And especially if it’s given from the heart. When people are talking, there’s no need to do anything but receive them. Just take them in. Listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Most times caring about it is even more important than understanding it.

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Sign of the Cross

The sign of the cross (also used by Eastern Christians) is another expression of religious body language. From early times, this ritual action has enjoyed a widespread usage: crosses were traced with the thumb on the sick, with the hand over food at mealtimes, and on one’s own forehead, chest, and shoulders at times of prayer. In an allusion to the sign of the cross being made with oil on the foreheads of the newly baptized, Martin Luther advised his followers, “Every morning get out of bed, cross yourself, and say, ‘I am a baptized Christian.’ . . .”

The sign of the cross has been used in multiples tracing it with the thumb on the forehead, lips, and chest before listening to the proclamation of the Gospel, signifying “May the word of the Lord be in my mind. May I speak it on my lips, and carry it always in my heart.”

The sign of the cross is a bodily gesture of faith that parents teach to their children and that accompanies them from baptism to death. It pops up when one least expects it: in the middle of a basketball game with a free-throw shooter at the line; in an exam room before students begin to write; in a car or plane before it begins to move; around a table with a family before meals; in the end zone when a player scores. Many begin or end their day with it. For Christians, it is a sign of redemption, God’s “registered trademark.” When those who use it cross themselves, they are telling themselves the most important thing they can say about themselves: that they are loved and saved at a great price. It is both a personal identity mark and a communal sign.

 

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