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Doing so may not always be easy, but empirical research suggests that being grateful can help foster an overall sense of well-being and happiness. Taking note of the many things we have to feel thankful about can play a highly constructive role in the development of our world view and our character.

In the United States, the holiday season kicks off with the celebration of Thanksgiving, a tradition that dates back to the early European settlers on the North American continent, grateful for the harvest and for the hospitality of the native inhabitants. This festive time has now become synonymous with giving thanks and counting one’s blessings. But I wonder how many know how good it is for one’s psychological health to recognize and express the things for which we can all be grateful.

In The Psychology of Gratitude [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK], Robert Emmons from the University of California at Davis points to the empirical research that demonstrates not only how positive an emotion gratitude is, but how instrumental it can be in promoting an overall sense of well-being and happiness. He also argues that taking note of the many things we have to feel thankful about can play a highly constructive role in the development of our world view and character. But getting to this positive frame of mind is often not very easy. We have to train ourselves, it seems, to recognize the good things that come our way and to be thankful for them. Nonetheless, it’s a most worthwhile undertaking, as he argues in another book, Thanks: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK].

In my own book Character Disturbance [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK], I suggest that modern culture promotes a sense of entitlement, which makes it particularly challenging to develop a healthy sense of gratitude. I also make the case for the view that feelings of entitlement are necessarily toxic not only to personal development but also to interpersonal relations. I must confess that I was not very familiar with Professor Emmons’ work when I first developed “the ten commandments of character development” featured in it. But based on abundant case history research with individuals trying to solidify a positive and healthy sense of self, I was already convinced about how crucial it is to find a spot in one’s heart for this positive emotion when I exhorted:

Remember that you are not entitled to anything. Your very life is an unearned gift. Strive to be grateful for the many gifts you’ve received. Regard your life and the miracle of creation with appropriate awe and appreciation. Gratitude will enable you to develop a sense of obligation to value, preserve, and promote life and to respect all aspects of creation. Knowing how indebted you really are will keep you from feeling entitled.

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Whereas feelings of entitlement inevitably lead to irresponsible actions and bitter feelings when feeling “denied” satisfaction of one’s wants, gratitude begets a sense of reverence for life and a sense of well-being when we do our part to help sustain it. It’s hard to imagine a person with genuine awe and respect for the wonders of creation callously polluting and destructively consuming. Similarly, within the realm of human relations, it’s hard to imagine a person who really values life and the well-being of all treating another human being (or even an animal, for that matter) with callous or cruel indifference. So you see, gratitude is not just a nice thing to have. It’s something we really need to have to be genuinely healthy and whole.

Whether or not you live in a part of the world that incorporates “thanksgiving” into a ritual celebration, it’s helpful at this time of the year to pause and reflect on the many good things you have. Having struggled with some significant health issues in the past few months, I know intimately just how important this is. And although it was a formidable struggle at times, all I really had to do to feel better was to think for a few moments on the many blessings I enjoy. I have my family and friends. I have the love and support of many. And I’ve been given the experience of another day on this incredible planet. In truth, I have it all, even though I didn’t earn a single minute of it. Knowing that, and savoring it on the deepest level, I am truly well.

Dr George Simon, PhD

Being a more grateful person is a good way to become a happier person. In fact, gratitude can positively impact any number of our emotions. Unlike some other things in life that have the power to pick up our spirits for a time (like trying new and exciting things, getting a raise, receiving an unexpected gift, etc.), cultivating a thankful heart produces results that can last a lifetime. Being grateful is good for our social life, too. When we carry a grateful attitude, we tend to be nicer, more receptive and accommodating, and more appreciative of our friends, relatives, and associates. In turn, doing such things generally translates into people liking us more, wanting to be around us and do more things with us, and being more generally inclined to show kindness to us — a really positive, energizing cycle of relationship enhancement. Gratitude is also good for our physical health, helping us be less worried or anxious and helping us keep a positive emotional balance and a positive mood. Being grateful has benefits to our overall personality and character development. The more grateful we are, the less self-conscious and materialistic, and the more self affirming and optimistic we’re likely to be, all of which helps us to be a better person. (I speak to this very issue in the section of my book Character Disturbance [Amazon-US | Amazon-UK] devoted to character development.)

The plethora of evidence is pretty clear: gratitude really is good for you, and apparently on many levels and in countless ways. So it would appear in our best interest to cultivate a greater sense of thankfulness. But how do you go about making yourself feel grateful, especially when things aren’t going the way you’d like? Can you really nurture grateful feelings? Is gratitude really a matter of attitude?

One of the principal tenets of cognitive-behavioral psychology is that our thoughts, feelings, and actions are inextricably interconnected. While many professionals have come to appreciate how much what we think and feel influences how we act, I’ve been one of the few long emphasizing how much what we do can influence our emotions and our beliefs (see “Putting the “B” Back into Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy”). If we really want to change our attitude, one place to start is with our behavior. So, if we want to have a more grateful heart, it’s incumbent upon us to act more grateful — even when it isn’t all that easy to do so. To better accomplish that, there are some concrete steps we can take:

Make a list.

There’s wisdom in the adage that advises to “count your blessings.” Journaling all the things you have to be thankful for is a great way to keep yourself aware of why you should be grateful. You can take your “gratitude inventory” mentally as well. Just remember to take the time to do it and to do so often.

Frame things in the positive.

Put a positive “spin” on things, even those things that it’s hard to see the good in. Looking on the “bright side” can keep you from becoming down on life and down on yourself as well.

Say and give thanks at every opportunity.

The small things count here. Let the waiter at the restaurant know how much you appreciated their service. Tell the store clerk how happy you are they had just what you needed. Let the kids know how much you appreciated their efforts to tidy up their rooms. Expressing thankfulness is a good way to engender grateful feelings.

Dare not to compare.

Resist the temptation to compare yourself or your situation to others. Despite how things might appear on the surface, no one’s life is perfect and everyone has unique gifts and blessings. Thinking how much more fortunate someone else is can make you feel cheated and deprived. Focus on the unique person you are and the special things you’ve been given and you’ll find yourself feeling more grateful.

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This is the time of the year when many folks reflect on their lives and all that they have. It can be a lonely and depressing time for those who’ve been struggling or have suffered tragic losses or other misfortunes. It’s understandable that such folks might have a hard time finding things for which to feel grateful. But because gratitude is mostly about attitude, and because our attitude can be shaped by our behavior, it’s important that we do our best to act gratefully, even when we’re not feeling too inclined to do so. Behaving gratefully can help us feel more thankful. As we know from abundant research, the benefits of being grateful are many.

At the time of writing, I am fourteen years of age, and can confidently say that I�ve been through the dissatisfaction (to say the least) of a form of Obsessive Compulsive Behavioral Disorder (OCBD). The reason I say this with relief is that I am getting over it – something I could never have thought of just a fortnight ago. OCBD is a psychological annoyance which combines a number of dis-benefits. I speak from my personal experience in the following pages, and the knowledge I have gathered along the way.

I live in the UK, and have for some years had an �obsessive behavior� continuously going backwards and forwards. For example, I might be walking down the street, and I felt as if I had to got back. I would type on the keyboard and delete it and retype it. People noticed this, particularly my Mum, who offered to help, she tried to help, she �threatened� to take me to the doctors. But would I listen? No. I felt as if I could overcome the problem on my own. So why did I do it? Well, at the time of me getting this problem, it was because I felt that bad would happen if I didn�t go back. Silly looking back on it now. I can laugh it off. But the evolving problem was, to my ignorance, to get intolerably worse. I didn�t want to see a doctor, as you wouldn�t think there was particularly much wrong yourself, would you? It seemed just like a bad habit.

About a year ago, the problem, after dying down a little, worsened and worsened to the extent that, about a month ago, I felt so fed up, depressed and bad with the problem that I couldn�t go into town, I couldn�t go out, and even getting out of bed was a hassle. At this point, the problem had evolved to me having bad, and unwanted thoughts (not like schizophrenia, or however it is spelled. I had them obsessively, but they were �mine�). At one time, I felt as if I had to tell my Mum these thoughts to be truthful to her, but as I realized that I could cope with this, the problem worsened. I now felt as if I had to go through the numerical combinations of these thoughts to my mother, and as though I was making other people go through them by doing things, and so I felt I had to tell her them. So the problem got to the peak where I felt as though when I though the word �everything� (which might have implemented going through the combinations) I had to go back to the physical position I was in when I said this, and adjoin the words �to do with nothing� to this. Stupid. Until you�re experiencing the problem yourself.

So, at about a month ago, you�re saying, �what did I do?�? Well, I agreed to see the G.P., who referred me onto a specialist. Long wait, but I got to see her. Funny looking lady – big glasses, sat in weird positions – but not half as weird as the students sat by her, I tell you! The good that came out of that one session was a recommendation for the prescription of Prozac. To tell you the truth, I was scared of taking the syrup. A long list of side affects – basically including aches, pains, tiredness, sickness, heart failure, etc.. – were warned of, but none arrived particularly. A fortnight on, I can agree that Prozac is something of a wonder drug. Others say it, too; it�s partially designed to stop OCD – which came to my surprise. Prozac stops or encourages the dispersion of chemicals in the brain, something which gives me the idea that adolescence has something to do with my case. I�m 14, you see.

Now I can look back at the problem and say that it could have made me a stronger, more understanding personality, but I�m new to taking the drug and all I can say so far is that it�s worked. I can cycle to town, type freely; they all sound easy, but when you have this problem, you understand it�s an achievement of recovery – the road to which I am now on.

A Mother’s Story – One Year On

x was off Prozac a month later, but miraculously the problem still seemed much under control. Looking back I can say that x’s OCD was probably one of the worst periods of his and his family’s life. It affected every one of us in one way or another and I can sincerely sympathize with anyone trying to cope with this problem.

I’ve added this bit on to offer encouragement and hope for anyone else with OCD. At the time it seems as though it will go on forever, and the light at the end of the tunnel is not even visible. But it CAN improve. I wouldn’t say x doesn’t have problems even now, but he seems to be coping with them the best way he can. We have long periods of ‘normal’ behavior and at the moment his social life has never been better, it has improved a thousand-fold. He still does odd things (for want of a better word), but they don’t seem to bother him as much. I think his breakthrough came, not with Prozac but the counseling that he was given and the important step he took of writing his story (above).

Three Years On

(Touch wood) I’m happy to report that we survived what can only be described as a living nightmare and three years on x is a well-adjusted 17 year old who is studying A levels and learning to drive. He has found his niche in life and I have every confidence that he will be extremely successful in the future. If anyone reading this account is living with someone with OCD then please be assured, it CAN be overcome. Maybe not completely but certainly to the point where life seems more bearable. I still think that the counseling helped far more than any drugs could have ever done but I know from experience that this condition affects the whole family in one way or another and that at the time you think things will never improve. Well, they do.

Over 3 million Americans suffer from OCD in any given year, so Obsessive-Compulsive disorders are far from uncommon. Read the symptoms below; and if you answer ‘yes’ to any of the issues mentioned, you may have some form of OCD:

• Do you feel trapped in a pattern of unwanted and upsetting thoughts?

• Do you feel you have to do the same things over again for no good reason?

• I have upsetting thoughts or images enter my mind again and again.

• I feel like I can�t stop these thoughts or images, even though I want to.

• I have a hard time stopping myself from doing things again and again, like: counting, checking on things, washing my hands, re-arranging objects, doing things until it feels right, collecting useless objects.

• I worry a lot about terrible things that could happen if I�m not careful.

• I have unwanted urges to hurt someone but know I never would.

At the time of writing, I am fourteen years of age, and can confidently say that I�ve been through the dissatisfaction (to say the least) of a form of Obsessive Compulsive Behavioral Disorder (OCBD). The reason I say this with relief is that I am getting over it – something I could never have thought of just a fortnight ago. OCBD is a psychological annoyance which combines a number of dis-benefits. I speak from my personal experience in the following pages, and the knowledge I have gathered along the way.

I live in the UK, and have for some years had an �obsessive behavior� continuously going backwards and forwards. For example, I might be walking down the street, and I felt as if I had to got back. I would type on the keyboard and delete it and retype it. People noticed this, particularly my Mum, who offered to help, she tried to help, she �threatened� to take me to the doctors. But would I listen? No. I felt as if I could overcome the problem on my own. So why did I do it? Well, at the time of me getting this problem, it was because I felt that bad would happen if I didn�t go back. Silly looking back on it now. I can laugh it off. But the evolving problem was, to my ignorance, to get intolerably worse. I didn�t want to see a doctor, as you wouldn�t think there was particularly much wrong yourself, would you? It seemed just like a bad habit.

About a year ago, the problem, after dying down a little, worsened and worsened to the extent that, about a month ago, I felt so fed up, depressed and bad with the problem that I couldn�t go into town, I couldn�t go out, and even getting out of bed was a hassle. At this point, the problem had evolved to me having bad, and unwanted thoughts (not like schizophrenia, or however it is spelled. I had them obsessively, but they were �mine�). At one time, I felt as if I had to tell my Mum these thoughts to be truthful to her, but as I realized that I could cope with this, the problem worsened. I now felt as if I had to go through the numerical combinations of these thoughts to my mother, and as though I was making other people go through them by doing things, and so I felt I had to tell her them. So the problem got to the peak where I felt as though when I though the word �everything� (which might have implemented going through the combinations) I had to go back to the physical position I was in when I said this, and adjoin the words �to do with nothing� to this. Stupid. Until you�re experiencing the problem yourself.

So, at about a month ago, you�re saying, �what did I do?�? Well, I agreed to see the G.P., who referred me onto a specialist. Long wait, but I got to see her. Funny looking lady – big glasses, sat in weird positions – but not half as weird as the students sat by her, I tell you! The good that came out of that one session was a recommendation for the prescription of Prozac. To tell you the truth, I was scared of taking the syrup. A long list of side affects – basically including aches, pains, tiredness, sickness, heart failure, etc.. – were warned of, but none arrived particularly. A fortnight on, I can agree that Prozac is something of a wonder drug. Others say it, too; it�s partially designed to stop OCD – which came to my surprise. Prozac stops or encourages the dispersion of chemicals in the brain, something which gives me the idea that adolescence has something to do with my case. I�m 14, you see.

Now I can look back at the problem and say that it could have made me a stronger, more understanding personality, but I�m new to taking the drug and all I can say so far is that it�s worked. I can cycle to town, type freely; they all sound easy, but when you have this problem, you understand it�s an achievement of recovery – the road to which I am now on.

A Mother’s Story – One Year On

x was off Prozac a month later, but miraculously the problem still seemed much under control. Looking back I can say that x’s OCD was probably one of the worst periods of his and his family’s life. It affected every one of us in one way or another and I can sincerely sympathize with anyone trying to cope with this problem.

I’ve added this bit on to offer encouragement and hope for anyone else with OCD. At the time it seems as though it will go on forever, and the light at the end of the tunnel is not even visible. But it CAN improve. I wouldn’t say x doesn’t have problems even now, but he seems to be coping with them the best way he can. We have long periods of ‘normal’ behavior and at the moment his social life has never been better, it has improved a thousand-fold. He still does odd things (for want of a better word), but they don’t seem to bother him as much. I think his breakthrough came, not with Prozac but the counseling that he was given and the important step he took of writing his story (above).

Three Years On

(Touch wood) I’m happy to report that we survived what can only be described as a living nightmare and three years on x is a well-adjusted 17 year old who is studying A levels and learning to drive. He has found his niche in life and I have every confidence that he will be extremely successful in the future. If anyone reading this account is living with someone with OCD then please be assured, it CAN be overcome. Maybe not completely but certainly to the point where life seems more bearable. I still think that the counseling helped far more than any drugs could have ever done but I know from experience that this condition affects the whole family in one way or another and that at the time you think things will never improve. Well, they do.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (or OCD), as categorized by the DSM-IV, is an anxiety disorder. It is characterised by the obsessive need to perform some task. These tasks are often known as rituals. Note that the DSM-IV Axis II Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is considerably different from Obsessive-compulsive disorder, and is often what people mean when they refer to somebody as “obsessive-compulsive”.
Today it is well-accepted that OCD is much more common than was thought previously. Typically 2�3 % of the general population is believed to have OCD or OCD-like symptoms.

In many cases the task that an OCD sufferer does may seem simple to the layperson, but the sufferer feels that they must perform it in some particular way for fear of dire consequences. Examples might include checking that one has locked one’s car many times over before leaving it parked, or turning the lights on and off a set number of times every time one leaves a room. Such a person, when addicted to cigarettes, may argue that they can only quit smoking on the 13th or 27th of each month, and only when they possess four cigarettes at noon. Some people who have OCD may be completely aware that such obsessions are not rational, but feel bound to comply with them because otherwise they suffer from panic or irrational dread.

Obsessions are ideas that the person cannot stop thinking about. These are often fears about getting a disease, getting hurt, or causing harm to someone. The main features of obsessions are that they are automatic, frequent, upsetting or distressing, and difficult to control or get rid of. Compulsions refer to actions that the person performs, usually repeatedly, in an attempt to make the obsession go away. These are often cleansing or avoidance actions. Common compulsions include excessive washing and cleaning, checking, repetitive actions such as touching, counting, arranging and ordering, hoarding, ritualistic behaviours that lessen the chances of provoking an obsession. Compulsions can be observable actions, for example washing, but they can also be mental rituals such as, repeating words or phrases, counting, or saying a prayer.

Causes and related disorders

Recent research has revealed a possible genetic mutation that could be the cause of OCD. Researchers funded by the National Institutes of Health have found a mutation in the human serotonin transporter gene, hSERT, in unrelated families with OCD.

Violence is rare among OCD sufferers, but the disorder is often debilitating to the quality of life. Also, the psychological self-awareness of the irrationality of the disorder can be painful. For people with severe OCD, it may take several hours a day to carry out the compulsive acts. More often, they avoid certain situations or places altogether.

Some people with OCD also suffer from other conditions such as Tourette syndrome, attention deficit disorder, trichotillomania, hypochondria or Pure Obsessional OCD (rumination).

Treatment

OCD can be treated with a variety of anti-depressants, such as Anafranil, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, Luvox, and Anafranil. Some medications like Gabapentin have also been found to be useful in the treatement of OCD. Symptoms tend to return, however, once the drugs are discontinued. There are claims that long-term remission of symptoms has been achieved without medications through cognitive-behavioral therapy making use of the principles of extinction and habituation.