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Want to have better, more productive relationships at home and at work? Then embrace the concept of constructive criticism, a valuable tool that can help you get things done.

Are you familiar with the concept of constructive criticism? Quite simply, it’s feedback that’s delivered in a way that tells a person what he is doing wrong, but also highlights what he is doing right and how he can do it better.

What people don’t often realize about constructive criticism is how highly effective the approach can be for achieving your goals, both at home and at work. That explains why giving constructive criticism is often underutilized when it could be quite effective, says Steve Siebold, a public speaker and author of 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class.

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“Constructive criticism has the power to change your personal life for the better, and professionally it has the potential to make you rich,” says Siebold. “The secret is processing the criticism through logical rather than emotional thinking.”

These techniques will help you with both giving and accepting constructive criticism.

Giving Constructive Criticism Properly

Despite the potential value of constructive criticism, many people don’t use this tool properly. Often, that’s because they are unsure of how to give constructive criticism without hurting a person’s feelings. “Constructive criticism can be very valuable as long as it is approached in the appropriate manner,” says Sybil Keane, PhD, a psychology and relationship expert for the Web site JustAnswer. “It can be damaging when it comes across as accusatory.”

A unique technique for giving constructive criticism properly is to take the “sandwich” approach, advises Denise Glassmoyer, PsyD, a doctor of clinical psychology and a family therapist in private practice in Scottsdale, Ariz. “The sandwich approach is useful in both professional and personal settings,” she says. “The bread consists of very specific positive feedback (a compliment), and the ‘meat in the middle’ is the constructive criticism.”

For example, in a professional setting, Glassmoyer says that you should start the conversation by pointing out something that an employee (Bob) is good at, such as interacting with clients, and compliment him on this ability.

Then, subtly shift the attention to the part of Bob’s work that needs improvement, such as documenting his transactions. Tell him that this could use a little work, offer somepositive suggestions on how he can improve this part of his work, and then offer yourself as a resource for guidance if he happens to need more help in this area.

Finally, conclude the conversation by reiterating what Bob is good at, and saying that just a little improvement in the one area of concern would really bring his overall work production up to an excellent level. The “sandwich” approach to giving constructive criticism minimizes the blow by surrounding the negative feedback with positive information and useful, actionable advice.

The same approach can work in personal relationships as well as business relationships, but Keane adds that some subtle changes in the language you use are better when doling out personal constructive criticism. She suggests starting the constructive criticism with “I feel that…” rather than “You…” This softens the feedback and makes it sound more like a suggestion than a personal attack. “This approach is especially effective when communicating with adolescents,” says Keane.

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Accepting Constructive Criticism

Of course, by our very nature, people in general are averse to taking criticism, even if it is delivered in a constructive way. So if you happen to be on the receiving end of a bit of constructive criticism, you can help the process along by having a good attitude, an open mind, and a willingness to learn and grow from the feedback that is given to you.

“Active listening and healthy emotional boundaries are essential,” says Glassmoyer. “The more a person can begin to substitute curiosity for defensiveness, the easier it will be to accept constructive criticism. Listening with the intent to understand the other person’s perspective can create emotional space and diffuse the need to respond defensively.”

While getting defensive or combative is not helpful, that doesn’t mean that you can’t ask for more information or clarification of the criticism if needed, adds Glassmoyer. Often, having an open mind and collaborating with the criticizer on finding a solution to the problem is the best way to make constructive criticism as effective as possible, both for the giver and the receiver.

New rules require insurers to cover mental health care just like treatments for physical ills. Find out what this means for you.

Group health insurance plans can no longer limit benefits and require higher patient costs for people with mental health or substance abuse disorders, according to new rules issued Friday by the U.S. government.

Any group health plan — typically offered by employers — that includes mental health and substance abuse disorder benefits must treat them equally with standard medical and surgical coverage in terms of out-of-pocket costs, benefit limits and practices such as prior authorization and utilization review, according to the new rules.

“These practices must be based on the same level of scientific evidence used by the insurer for medical and surgical benefits. For example, a plan may not apply separate deductibles for treatment related to mental health or substance abuse disorders and medical and surgical benefits — they must be calculated as one limit,” said a news release from the U.S. Health and Human Services Department.

The new rules, effective for plan years beginning on or after July 1, 2010, implement the Paul Wellstone and Pete Domenici Mental Health Parity and Addiction Equity Act of 2008 (MHPAEA), which expands on the earlier Mental Health Parity Act of 1996. The new act is named for two federal lawmakers who pushed for equal treatment of mental health and substance abuse disorder benefits.

MHPAEA applies to businesses with 50 or more employees whose group health plan offers mental health and substance abuse disorder benefits.

The Departments of Health and Human Services, Labor and the Treasury jointly issued the new parity rules, which were developed based on the departments’ review of more than 400 public comments on the issue.

“Workers covered by group health plans who need mental health and substance abuse care deserve fair treatment. These rules expand on existing protection to ensure that people don’t face unnecessary barriers to the treatment they need,” Deputy Treasury Secretary Neil Wolin said in the news release.

“Today’s rules will bring needed relief to families faced with meeting the cost of obtaining mental health and substance abuse services,” added Secretary of Labor Hilda L. Solis. “The benefits will give these Americans access to greatly needed medical treatment, which will better allow them to participate fully in society.”

Prayer and spirituality can help ease depression and act as a cushion when life throws curve balls your way.

Improved mood and quality of life, stress relief, and healing from trauma are just a few of the many benefits of massage therapy.

Massage can provide stress relief for just about anyone, from preterm babies to the elderly. Yet the benefits of massage go beyond stress relief. Moderate-pressure massage for as little as 15 minutes may offer relief from depression, anger, and anxiety.

“It’s never fun to let stress bring you to your breaking point! Just as we take our cars in for regular tune-ups, we too need maintenance,” says massage therapist Kristen Sykora, LMT, owner of Harmony Healthcare Associates and Hands Down Physical Arts, Inc. in Wantagh, NY. “Massage therapy decreases the amount of stress in the body by [relaxing] muscles, flushing out the waste products from the muscles, and increasing the ‘feel-good’ hormones.”

Massage Therapy and Stress Relief: Emotional Health Benefits

If you’ve been in the hands of a good massage therapist, you already know how your body responds with stress relief. But the physiological response goes deeper than blissful relaxation.

“Massage therapy can improve a person’s emotional health by reducing stress and stress hormones; by increasing serotonin and thereby reducing depression and pain; and by enhancing immune function and thereby reducing bacterial and viral illnesses,” explains Tiffany Field, PhD, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine in Miami, Fla.

Field’s research team has shown that massage relieves stress for preterm infants in the neonatal intensive care unit. Three 15-minute full-body massages each day for five days lead to a significant reduction in stress-related behaviors in this vulnerable population. Massage has also been shown to help preterm babies gain weight faster.

Research has also shown that:

• Six 30-minute massages over a two-week period can ease pain and improve mood among people with advanced cancer.
• Massage can help reduce depression in both children and pregnant women. As little as 15 minutes of massage on a regular basis may be beneficial to mood.
• Massage therapy is helpful for trauma victims. “Aside from physical pain, victims of trauma, past or present, will often hold memories of such events in their muscle tissues. By receiving massage from a trained professional, one can get back in touch with their body and be able to access the held emotions,” says Sykora.

Massage is not just a way to gain stress relief — you can reduce many of the other unpleasant emotions in your life as well. “Many studies show that massage therapy reduces negative mood states like depression, anxiety, and anger and their associated stress hormones,” says Field.

Massage Therapy and Stress Relief: Finding a Massage Therapist

Most massage therapists can provide the kind of massage you will need to help with depression, anger, anxiety, and stress relief. “Moderate pressure is the key factor for massage therapy to be effective. Any type of massage therapist who uses moderate pressure should be able to help with mood management,” says Field.

You can find a licensed massage therapist near you at the American Massage Therapy Association Web site.

“We often go through our day without any recognition of how our bodies are responding to the stress we experience,” says Sykora, who advises regular massage sessions as well as a meditation practice for optimal stress management. “Massage treatments give us a time-out in order for us to access the deeper layers of our well-being, allowing the therapist to unwind the holding patterns in our tissues.”

So don’t be afraid to indulge in a massage every now and then — it’s good for your emotional well-being and your physical health.

This field focuses on how people can make themselves happier.

Most people seek therapy to get help with a problem. But what if the research and techniques in the field of psychology could be used to build upon existing strengths and personality traits to help people become happier and more engaged in their lives?

This is the primary question behind the work of researchers and psychologists in the field of positive psychology, which goes beyond positive thinking to a deeper understanding of what makes people happy.

“You can do things to make yourself happy,” says Debbie Swick, MBA, associate executive director of the International Positive Psychology Association and associate director of education in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania.

Positive Psychology: Areas of Focus

Positive psychology is focused on three basic areas of study and practice:

• Positive emotions, consisting of contentment with the past, current happiness, hope for the future.
• Positive traits, such as courage, resilience, curiosity, self-knowledge, integrity, compassion, and creativity.
• Positive institutions, such as community institutions, which can benefit from focusing on the tools developed in positive psychology research.

The research that has contributed to the field of positive psychology has been going on for decades, says Swick. Positive psychology, as a specialty, arose about a decade ago and is now applied in a variety of settings, from clinics to corporations.

Positive Psychology: How It Differs From Positive Thinking

Positive psychology can be easily confused with the idea of positive thinking. However, there are several important differences, including:

• Positive thinking emphasizes positivity in all situations, whereas positive psychology offers a variety of tools for success.
• Positive psychology draws from the knowledge of experts who have studieddepression, anxiety, and other mood disorders.
• Positive psychology is evidence-based, meaning it is based on research.

Positive thinking could be loosely termed as optimism, which has been shown to be very helpful for people in a variety of situations. However, experts in positive psychology also believe that there are times when a realistic or even negative view of a situation could be more helpful.

“There is a ratio of positive to negative that is a healthy ratio — it’s three to one,” says Swick. “[But] there are times when it is just not appropriate to plaster a smile on your face.”

Positive Psychology: The Evidence on Happiness

Here are some research results that contribute to the field of positive psychology:

• Activities bring more happiness than possessions. A survey of 150 young adults showed that when asked to rate the happiness value of purchases they hoped would be pleasurable, experience-type purchases, such as trips or meals, outranked objects.
• Being wealthy does not make you more likely to be happy than other people, as long as everyone’s income is above the poverty level.
• Grateful people are more likely to be healthy, helpful, and have a greater sense of well-being.
• Seeing other people do good things makes us want to do good too.
• An optimistic outlook reduces the risk of physical and emotional healthproblems.

Positive Psychology: How to Nurture Happiness

Here are some exercises to help you nurture your own happiness:

• Practice gratitude
• Allow yourself to enjoy what you enjoy — whatever it is, savor it!
• Practice optimism — find the positive spin
• Argue with yourself about negative beliefs about the past

Swick recommends trying this exercise for a taste of positive psychology’s approach: at the end of the day, write down three good things that happened during the day and why they were good.

“Eventually you start to notice the positive things. It changes you,” she says.

People who are interested in learning more about positive psychology may want to read the books The How of Happiness (Penguin Press, 2007), Positivity (Crown, 2009), and Authentic Happiness (Free Press, 2004).