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‘Passive-aggressive’ is a term that’s often used to describe someone who retaliates in a subtle way rather than speaking his mind. But this term was also once used to describe a personality disorder. Learn some of the signs of passive-aggressive behaviors and how to deal with them.

The term passive-aggressive is defined as the “unassertive” expression of negative sentiments, feelings of anger, and resentfulness. So instead of verbally or physically expressing frustration or anger — or even simply saying “no” when asked to complete a task — someone described as passive-aggressive might simply act agreeable but then not follow through with completing the task.

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Passive-aggressive personality can sometimes seem pretty easy to recognize. In fact, these behaviors were once known as a personality disorder of the same name — passive-aggressive personality disorder.

Today, passive-aggressive personality disorder is no longer considered a mental healthcondition and the diagnosis is not recognized. But that doesn’t mean that these personality traits no longer exist.

Passive-aggressive behaviors can be truly troubling and may still require medical treatment and help to cope with them. People with passive-aggressive personality traits also tend to, over time, develop feelings of anger.

Symptoms of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

It’s not understood why some people behave in a passive-aggressive manner or have chronic passive-aggressive personality characteristics. But it’s thought that genetics could play a role, in addition to environment.

Some identifiable signs and symptoms of passive-aggressive behaviors include:

• Putting off responsibilities
• Carrying out responsibilities late, not at all, or inefficiently
• Sulking
• “Forgetting” to do things or using forgetfulness as an excuse not to do things
• Being reluctant to accept others’ suggestions
• Being afraid of those in positions of authority
• Having pent-up feelings of anger
• Resenting and blaming other people

People with passive-aggressive personality typically don’t disagree or voice their resentment; it’s their behaviors that indicate that they’re passively ignoring a request or responsibility, or doing it only with resentment.

Diagnosing and Treating Passive Aggression

A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, may perform a psychological evaluation to diagnose passive-aggressive behaviors. He will also do some careful questioning and review a history of symptoms in order to recommend the appropriate course of treatment.

Passive-aggressive personality disorder was considered a chronic condition, meaning that it had no chance of improving. But people with passive-aggressive behaviors can learn to deal with those behaviors and learn ways to cope with their symptoms.

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Therapy and counseling can help people with passive-aggressive behaviors learn to understand their behaviors and react more appropriately. They can learn to better express their feelings before they develop hostility or resentfulness. Treatment can be effective, and the prognosis for overcoming passive aggression is generally considered good.

It’s also important to avoid dependency on drugs or alcohol, and any substance abuse problems or dependencies should be brought under control as part of managing passive aggression.

So perhaps that friend who conveniently “forgets” her promise to help you clean out your closets didn’t really want to do it in the first place. Or maybe you realize that you yourself miss deadlines when you dislike the project you were assigned at work. If you exhibit these behaviors and symptoms repeatedly over time, it may be a good idea to seek guidance from a mental health professional to determine if you might have a passive-aggressive personality — and learn how to better handle situations that cause frustration.

If you’ve been facing long-term unemployment, you may be experiencing emotional as well as financial effects of job loss. Realizing that what you’re feeling is normal will help you get through this difficult time.

As economic woes persist in this country, there’s no question that the massive job loss that accompanied the downturn has had a huge financial effect on people’s lives. But what’s often overlooked are the emotional effects of unemployment. This is particularly true when job loss becomes long-term unemployment — unemployment that lasts for months or even years. For millions of Americans now, this has become the unfortunate reality.

For many people, their job isn’t just what they do to pay the bills — it defines who they are. And when that identity is taken away by job loss and unemployment, the emotional consequences can be severe.

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“Personal identity and professional identity are intertwined to the extent that the person has defined themselves by what they do,” says Denise Glassmoyer, PsyD, a doctor of clinical psychology and a family therapist in private practice in Scottsdale, Ariz. “For these people, the impact of unemployment extends well beyond the financial impact. In addition to losing their job, there may be the overwhelming sense that they have lost themselves. Many experience profound self-doubt accompanied by feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and hopelessness.”

If the job loss persists over the months or years to the point of long-term unemployment, these feelings can grow and fester and eventually lead to more severe consequences for the individual and his relationships, says Sybil Keane, PhD, a psychology and relationship expert for the Web site JustAnswer.

“Long-term unemployment brings depression, anger, stress, and a lack of self-confidence,” says Keane. “Over time, it can produce self-destructive habits such as drinking, smoking, drug use, and relationship problems.”

Tips for Dealing with Long-Term Unemployment

Fortunately, the news isn’t all bad when it comes to long-term unemployment and job loss. By changing your viewpoint on the situation, you can minimize the negative effects of unemployment and even create some positive ones. Here is what experts recommend:

• Reach out to others. Some people tend to shut down and isolate themselves during trying times like long-term unemployment, but you must stay emotionally connected. Says Larry Bugen, PhD, an Austin, Texas-based psychologist and author of several books, “Get past wounded pride and tell someone new about your situation at least twice a week. Emotional support and vocational guidance are likely to result.”
• Acknowledge and grieve the loss. Eventually, you need to move on, but you can’t just pretend that the loss didn’t happen, says Bugen. You need to allow yourself to go through the typical stages of grief before you can move past the job loss. “Acknowledge its impact on you emotionally, physically, and psychologically,” he says.
• Look for new opportunities. Once you have put that old job to bed, then you can begin to turn the effects of unemployment into something positive by changing your mindset, says Glassmoyer. “As devastating as long-term unemployment can be, the ‘crisis’ of unemployment can be a catalyst for new possibilities, for re-examining priorities, and for exploring both personal and professional interests,” she says. “In a sense, long-term unemployment is like shaking neatly placed puzzle pieces out of the frame and into a jumbled pile. Each piece must be rediscovered and re-examined before they can be put back together.”
• Learn something new. One way to start this process after job loss, adds Keane, is to pour yourself into a new educational opportunity. This may lead to another job, or just greater life fulfillment. “Discovering new passions or rekindling old ones are both great ways to spark confidence,” she says.
• Volunteer your time. While you’re waiting for the next opportunity to come along, you can make your life more rewarding and fulfilling by devoting time to others who are in even greater need than you. It’s a great way to keep things in perspective and focus on the positives in your life. “Helping individuals in trying times is guaranteed to result in personal fulfillment,” says Keane.
• Stick to a schedule. To keep yourself emotionally stable during a period of long-term unemployment, it’s important to maintain a fairly consistent schedule — just as if you still had a job, suggests Keane. “Get up at the same time each day, and try to make an hourly schedule,” she says.

Keep in mind that the emotional and financial impact of long-term unemployment can be very challenging for almost anybody. If you need outside help in the form of counseling, it’s important to admit this to yourself and get it. “Find a therapist or career coach you can meet with and talk over your situation,” Keane says. “Professional guidance will help structure the process of coping.”