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How Staying Positive Helps:

It’s likely our species survived because of our knack for detecting danger. But our worry-filled thoughts can present dangers of their own: Thinking negatively can drag down our moods, our actions and even our health.
Experts say it’s worthwhile—and possible—to learn how to think more positively.
Consider what researchers found about the benefits of staying positive:
•People who were pessimistic had a nearly 20 percent higher risk of dying over a 30-year period than those who were optimistic
•People who kept track of their gratitude once a week were more upbeat and had fewer physical complaints than others
•People who obsessively repeated negative thoughts and behaviors were able to change their unhealthy patterns—and their brain activity actually changed too.

Ways to Stay Positive

Foster Optimism
Trying to be optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring the uglier sides of life. It just means focusing on the positive as much as possible-and it gets easier with practice.
If you want to pump up your optimism, you might:
•Write about a positive future. The idea is to envision your goals and dreams come true. Tips include: •Write about your great future life. Writing helps you absorb ideas better than just thinking.
•Set aside time so you can go into detail. Researcher Laura King, PhD, who proved this exercise a great mood booster, assigned 20 minutes on four consecutive days.
•A variation on this exercise is to imagine positive outcomes in a particularly challenging situation.

•Search for the silver lining. Looking for the positive in a negative situation may sound sappy, but it can actually show great strength. To find your silver lining, ask yourself: •How have I grown from this situation?
•Are my relationships stronger now?
•Have I developed new skills?
•What am I proud of about the way I handled this situation?

Practice Gratitude
Noticing and appreciating the positives in our lives offers a great mood boost.
To increase your gratefulness, you can:
•Write a gratitude letter. Researcher Martin Seligman, PhD, asked subjects to write a letter thanking someone who had been particularly kind to them and then deliver it in person. The letter-writers enjoyed impressive positive effects even a month later.
•Keep a gratitude journal. Write down anything large or small that makes you smile, including terrific achievements, touching moments and great relationships.
•Remind yourself to savor. Yes, stop and smell the roses-and look at them and touch them. Do whatever you can to really soak in lovlier aspects of life.
•Share your good news. Studies of people’s reactions to positive developments suggest that those who tell a friend about a happy event enjoy it even more.

Avoid Negative Thinking
If you want to feel positive, it pays to decrease the downers in your life. With practice, you can resist worrisome thoughts and perhaps even transform your internal critic into more of a cheering squad.
•Avoid dwelling on downers. Focusing on negatives isn’t just unpleasant, it also can make you less effective in tackling tasks you face. In a study of test-takers, those who fixated on worrisome thoughts performed worse than those who were distracted from their worries. To stifle your obsessing:

•Ask yourself if the issue is really worth your energy. Will this issue matter in a year, for example?
•Tell yourself you’ll worry about it at a specific time later. Chances are you’ll feel better by the appointed time.
•Instead of just spinning your worry wheels, try a concrete therapy excercise.
•Distract yourself: Go to a movie, pump up some music, find something fun to do.

•Change unhealthy self-talk. You may have been running negative messages in your head for a long time. But research shows that you can learn to shift your thoughts and that, over time, you can literally change your brain. Consider trying some techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy, which works in part by looking at how changing your thoughts can change your life. Some tips include:
•Ask yourself if your negative thought is really true. Are you really a terrible mother if you didn’t make it to the class play? You’re probably involved in innumerable other ways.
•Remember any achievements that disprove your insecurity. If you think you’ll flop at the office party, remember other social occasions when you were outgoing and confident.
•Imagine what you’d tell a friend if he was worrying in ways that you are. You’d likely convince him to wait a bit before assuming the worst.
•Beware of all-or-nothing thinking. Disappointing your girlfriend once doesn’t mean you’re doomed to disappoint her all the time.
•Consider alternative explanations. If your boss hasn’t responded to your proposal it could be because he’s busy and not because he doesn’t like it.

How Helping Others Helps You:
If you lug your elderly neighbor’s groceries up her steps, clearly it’s good for her. But did you know that it’s likely good for you too?
Research indicates that those who consistently help other people experience less depression, greater calm, fewer pains and better health. They may even live longer.
Consider some recent research:
• Students who performed five acts of kindness a day increased their happiness
•Providing emotional support to others significantly decreased the harmful health effects of certain kinds of stress among older people
•People who donated money to charity got a boost in a feel-good part of the brain, as revealed in brain imaging research
Doing good can make you feel good. It might
•remind you that you’re relatively lucky
•make you feel connected to others
•help you feel needed and effective
•take your mind off your own worries for a while
•make you feel generous
•add a sense of purpose and meaning to your life

Hints on Helping
Consider these tips for helping others—and yourself:
•Don’t feel like you have to make grand gestures or huge time commitments. Sure, helping can mean serving meals at a homeless shelter every week. But it also can mean:

•Calling a friend to see how she’s doing
•Serving your spouse breakfast in bed
•Letting a car in front of you on the highway
•Smiling at a stranger in the street
•Holding the elevator door for your co-worker

•Vary your acts of generosity to prevent the experience from becoming ho-hum, advises happiness researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, who also found that doing several kindnesses in one day gives the best boost.
•Beware of taking on too much, or you’ll risk feeling resentful. When asked a favor, think it over before saying yes.

Ways to Volunteer
If you want to volunteer for an organization, invest in finding the right match. If you like to
•read… consider volunteering at a school or tutoring program
•work outdoors… try volunteering to clean up a local park
•speak another language…. perhaps work with immigrants
•work at home… make fundraising calls
•play sports… volunteer as a coach
•promote health… try a local hospital or clinic
Whatever you choose, ask if the group will provide support for your efforts, like training or a contact to answer questions that arise.
To find volunteer opportunities, call your city or county information line for the contact information for a volunteer coordinator service. You also can check your Yellow Pages under “Volunteer Clearinghouse” or “Volunteer Center” or find options online at Volunteermatch.org or 1-800-volunteer.org.

Create Joy and Satisfaction

Do you have tons of items on your to-do list? Well, add one more. It’s time to pencil in a little pleasure.
Chances are, you simply deserve some joy and satisfaction. But if you prefer, you can think about the serious side of fun. Experts say good feelings can boost your ability to bounce back from stress, solve problems, think flexibly and even fight disease.
Studies show that:
• Laughing decreases pain, may help your heart and lungs, promotes muscle relaxation and can reduce anxiety.
•Positive emotions can decrease stress hormones and build emotional strength.
•Leisure activities offer a distraction from problems, a sense of competence and many other benefits. For example, twins who participated in leisure activities were less likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease or dementia than their fellow twins in one study.

Ways to Create Joy and Satisfaction

Strengthen Your Funny Bone
You can keep it together by cracking up: It’s hard to be irritated, worried or glum when you’re rolling in laughter. And gentle humor often helps defuse a tense situation.
Check out some tips:
•Pick up some joke books or humorous essays at a bookstore or library. Keep a few handy for a quick pick-me-up.
•Put together a collection of sayings or photos that make you smile, and stick them someplace visible. Change them occasionally, or you’ll likely stop noticing them.
•Keep a humor tape in the car and steer clear of traffic frustration.
•Watch or listen to comedy via video, podcast or website. Or get a laugh the old-fashioned way—through the comics section.
•Try to laugh at some of the hassles in your life if you can. Finding what’s a bit absurd or amusing in a challenging situation just might offer relief.

Find Some Fun
Whether it’s playing golf or goofing around, having fun isn’t just, well, fun. It also promotes our overall well-being and success.
Leisure activities can boost our effectiveness, broaden our perspective, increase creativity and restock our energy supply. Leisure can combat stress by offering:
•social support
•chances to build confidence
•distractions from difficulties
•an emotional lift

Let’s have some fun:
•Free up some time. Can you afford to scratch something off your calendar? Is there anyone you can ask to help lighten your load? Set aside a time for fun, and keep it like it was a doctor’s appointment.
•Do something you loved to do as a kid. Run through the sprinklers, hang from the monkey bars, make a mess with finger paints.
•Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Bake a soufflé, build a tree house, learn to knit. If you’re not sure how, take a class or look for a local group dedicated to the activity.
•Pursue a creative interest. Writing, singing or making music all have therapeutic effects. Or just turn on a song you love: Brain images show that music can trigger feel-good hormones.
•Do it with someone you love. Get an extra boost from your leisure by sharing it. Good times build relationships, and good relationships are key to our happiness.

What’s Your “Flow”?
Some activities provide an extra psychological boost, argues prominent psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. They are activities that totally absorb us, challenge without overstressing us and make us feel fulfilled. They are what create the feeling of “flow.”
Everybody’s got their own sources of flow. For you, it may mean whooshing down the Alps; for someone else it may be basting a turkey, bowling or mowing the grass. Whatever your flow, it will make you feel effective, confident and in control.
To get more flow:
•Identify the high points of your day. Try to note when you’ve got that “in the zone” feeling. Or reflect back at the end of the day to see what made you feel good. Then try to do those activities more.
•Don’t look for flow in passive pursuits. Watching TV, for example, doesn’t offer the challenge that tends to spark flow. And once you improve at a task, considering raising the level of difficulty in some way.
•Inject flow into some regular activities. If you inject more meaning or ingenuity into routine tasks, you can make them more rewarding. In one study of hospital cleaning staff, some were unhappy with the job, but others upped their pleasure by creating new challenges, like working more efficiently or helping patients.

Go Ahead, Indulge
Though there probably isn’t much research on the emotional value of a good soak in the tub, we all need some kind of relaxing refuge.
Consider these options:
•Therapeutic massage. A massage can relieve muscle tension, stimulate the body’s natural painkillers and boost your immune system. It can also help you feel less anxious and more relaxed.
•Meditation or a meditative form of exercise. Try tai chi or qi gong, which use soothing, flowing motions.
•A nature break. A blue sky, lush bushes, a scenic lake. Walking in—or even just looking at—nature calms our nerves and relieves mental fatigue. In one study, workers with views of nature were happier at their jobs than workers with similar jobs but no nature view.
•A mental vacation. If you can’t hop on a plane to someplace soothing, just close your eyes and envision a scene you love. Try to fully imagine the experience of being there.

Get More Out of What You’ve Got
Sometimes, we don’t need to add new activities to get more pleasure. We just need to soak up the joy in the ones we’ve already got.
If we don’t stop to notice the positives in your life, it’s like they barely exist. Unfortunately, our daily demands sometimes block our ability to savor. To increase it, try these tips:
•Practice mindfulness, or the experience of being fully aware. You can start by really relishing a meal. Feel the textures, taste the flavors, enjoy the aromas. Don’t rush, don’t answer the phone (and don’t talk with your mouth full!). Remind yourself to be conscious of other experiences throughout the day, like how your shower feels on your skin or how the sun feels on your face.
•Share the joy. If you want to more fully experience your positive experiences, tell a friend about them. That way you’ll get to relive the moment—and enjoy your friend’s reaction.
•Let it out. When you’re feeling good, throw your whole self into it. Go ahead, jump up and down, clap your hands. Research shows that if you act out a certain emotion, you can fire up that feeling.