Bipolar4LifeSupport

THINKING: ACTION;

When I think of myself as a young girl I think of honor a lot of strength, courage, fearless, etc…
I sometimes wonder where all that went when I hit the low day’s but it is still in there I just have to dig it out. It takes a lot of work, with one being Bipolar amongst other diagnosis to keep up those characteristics, I have learned that I have to stay on my task at hand, my coping mechanisms if you will.
A lot of us once we feel better we stop doing what makes us get by day to day in a positive happy mood without any down slides, or off day’s is what I mean. I was lucky enough to have a stretch of 8 years of stability, but that was because I stuck to my plan, my coping mechanisms.

Another thing that keeps me afloat is being able to help people. I have a very hard time thinking of people/friends doing without, and struggling, it gives me much gratification to reach out and help that someone, no matter what the need, but if I can’t I have to accept that, that is okay too. I am still a good helpful person, in means of support.

When I think of myself as a young girl struggling I think of strength, a lot of it, that is the McAvoy in me, you fall, you get back up, my Dad wouldn’t have it any other way!

Nothing stopped me from getting what I wanted, and needed, I also think of how angry I was, at what I do not know, but I knew, and found out somehow that my anger, and anybody else anger can work FOR you.

I learned that with as much anger as I had it wouldn’t be good to go around and act out on it, I would get nowhere, I notice I can turn that anger into a positive for me. I have also learned as I grow older that my anger is what got me through all I went through.

Don’t get me wrong my life wasn’t a tragedy, and I wouldn’t change a thing of what I went through, or any of my past, of course nobody wants to lose their parents at such a young age, but I still wouldn’t change a thing.

I have been able to use the anger built up inside to motivate myself. When you think of anger you think of a bad emotion but it doesn’t have to be, any emotion we have, what we do with it is what matters, just because it is anger doesn’t mean it is a bad thing. If I am angry, I motivate, I get things done fast, and in an accurate matter, especially when I was at work. I would say, Jan, think of this, and actually literally piss myself off to the point I was like in a trance. I was so focused on the anger nothing would get in my way of getting the job at hand, no matter what it was, done. I love competition. That was my down fall at work. I was better than anyone, got the work done of three people at least in an hour time. I thought I was invisible, or not replaceable, everybody can be replaced, I learned that the hard way, but that is me Jan, I have to fall hard to learn, I don’t listen. I have to learn my way, nobody can tell me. I have to fall, brush myself off, and get back up, and usually learn from what I failed at. To me that is a good thing it makes me who I am, and I wouldn’t change a thing about myself.

I know this sounds quite strange but we are all unique in our own way aren’t we, well that is how I get by, I don’t let anything touch me personally I move on, let it bounce off like a rubber band, if people have a personal problem with me that is just it their personal problem, let them throw their knives and let them do whatever they feel like doing. I will simply turn around, hold my head high and not let it touch me.
I was so powerful, it is ever since I have been medicated it seems to me anyways that I have turned soft. Soft, I hate that word and sensitive, I do not like being that way. I am writing this to recall who I was and how I accomplished all I did on my own, I did a lot, and nothing touched, or stopped me I want that again, and will have it. I feel it close to me now. I won’t stop until I get down to the person I was before.
If I was once that way it is still inside of me I just have to dig it out, it takes a lot of work but I am always up for a challenge. It all depends for all of us actually how bad we want it, it is about anything I, you, want something bad enough you will fight, and do everything in our power to get it.

So why not use that power to better yourself emotionally. Emotions are something we are always going to have it is how they are controlled is what the matter is.

Some have better control than others, we all can be at peace with in, it just takes work, are you willing to put that time, and hard work into being the you, you want so much to be, and to stop being envies of other peoples happiness. Let’s get going, all you have to do is to stop thinking about it, thinking stops you from doing, action is key, when you think you sit, and weeks later you find yourself still sitting in that same spot wondering how you got to the point of despair, and how can you get out of it.

There is a simple solution to that, now with us having Bipolar I am not saying anyone at all is weak and I know how hard it is to get back up once fallen, but I am simply just explaining to you how I feel and have come about getting back up. That is it, you have to stop thinking and GET UP. You can’t just sit there and expect everything to get better by thinking about it, ACTION is always key to anything in this world.

provided to you by: http://www.bipolar4lifesupport.co

KNOWLEDGE: Be Aware;

Any decisions become a process of experimentation and learning, including learning from our mistakes and changing your goals along the way. Because each of us is unique, it is as if we are navigating through labyrinth, getting lost and finding our way again, making our own map as we go. All life involves risks, each of us make decisions every day to make acceptable risks.

We as humans are all created different. Every human has the right to feel, see, hear, sense, imagine, believe or experience anything at all, in any way, at any time.

Instead of viewing the experiences of Mental Illness only as a disability which can be stigmatizing, put down, it is helpful to also view those of us who go through emotional extremes as having diverse-ability.

Society must include the needs of sensitive, creative, emotionally wounded, and unusual people who make contributions to the community beyond the standards of competition, materialism, and individualism. To truly help people who are labelled Mentally Ill, we need to rethink what is normal, in the same way we are rethinking what it means to be unable to hear, without sight, or with limited physical mobility.

Universal design and accommodating those of us who are different ultimately benefits everyone. We need to challenge able-ism in all forms. A social model of disability means accepting human differences. Our needs are intertwined with the broader needs for social justice and ecological sustainability.

When people have difficulty expressing themselves or being understood by others, they deserve accommodation, supported decision making, and patience from caring people. Help more people feel more capable of living their lives, they can take the edge off of extreme states.

Every feeling and thought exist somehow in the brain as an expression of biology, but society, mind, and learning intervene. Stress for example, is associated with brain chemistry, but one person can thrive under stressful circumstances that are debilitating to another. If learning can affect the brain in such a profound way, then we are not as limited by biology as was once believed.

Empowerment means thinking beyond a narrow view, and embracing broader ways of looking at things. Everyone needs support sometime, each of us has part of our lives where we feel powerless. We all need to learn how to balance personal responsibility with asking for help. You don’t have to blame your brain to give yourself some compassion.

If people ask it’s your decision what to say or not say, “I’m a trauma survivor” “I go through extreme states,” or “I’m different than most people, and I’m still figuring it out.” Or say nothing at all. Connecting with others who share your experiences, such as peer support groups or the internet, can be crucial as you explore who you are.

Feeling powerless or needing help, doesn’t make you a broken person or that you’re a passive victim of biology. Explanations like trauma, sensitivity, or spirituality are as valid as any.

Don’t feel judged for making the best decision you can. You have the right to do what works best for you, and other people don’t know what it’s like to live your life. Make changes to improve the quality of your life. Be observant and follow what your heart and body are saying, and look to the advice of people who care about you. Finally keep a record so that you can study the changes you are going through and share with others your experiences.
LIST YOUR TRIGGERS AND WARNING SIGNS: How do you know you are heading towards crisis, and what will you do? Sleep, isolation, strong emotions, or altered states might show you need extra care and wellness support.

CREATE A “JOURNAL” which tells people what to do if you have trouble communicating or taking care of yourself. Include instructions on what to say to you, and how to help, as well as treatment and medication preferences.

MAKE CHANGES TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE:
Don’t leave it all to the drug. Take an active interest in you overall health, alternative treatments, and wellness tools.

Get regular healthcare, and stay in communication about your medication. Get support from trusted friends or family.

Make sure you have prescription refills you need, because missing doses can add stress to your body and brain. If you miss a dose don’t double up.

If you take other medications, watch out for drug interactions. Beware mixing with recreational drugs, or alcohol, which can worsen adverse effects and be dangerous.

Learn from others, and connect with others, who’ve taken the same medications as you.

Discover what you can from a variety of sources about your medications. Use nutrition, herbs and supplements to reduce adverse effects.

Bipolar 4 Life Support TEAM @ http://www.bipolar4lifesupport.co

“FOCUSING ON ONE’S SELF”

I must admit focusing on one’s self is not an easy thing to do.
I constantly am preaching to my son, about the words we say, simple words, really do not, at any age, give that good intention, or impression that we sometimes are trying to show, exhibit, or be. As we age as well it is the “action”(s) that speak louder than the words! Now meaning with that is sometimes there are too many words to define what we are? I think I have to, or know I do “Stop” as I tell him with the “words” and start the Action of what the words mean.

This may not make sense to you, but, what I am getting at is there are so many characteristics in each one of us and within me, I have been for a couple years, maybe longer saying to myself :
“Wow, where did they all go?”
When I say “where did that go?” I am meaning a part of me, the action in myself, of how, and what I did, I usually dismiss this and say “we all change” but we do really remain the same.

I think for myself I have a fight, and battling is really not a strong suit for me, maybe when I was younger, I could debate the good fight, in word, outward, did not matter!
Once were, or what was there, is still just that, there inside of me, and us, if this applies to you? I am talking about character, I always said “nothing is going to hurt nor touch me the way this or that did!”

That I think was a lie to myself to get me through perhaps whatever it was at the time, I have come to think that how long am I going to think about what “once was” when I can simply, well maybe not so simply, “dig it out” of me, I use to define myself, the whole me, according to how much, or what I was, by titling that with my job. Now without a job for 12 years. that Anniversary of January year 2000′, I feel, and see, that you do not have to per say make money without a title of, or from a job, you, no one is defined that simply, it is all about for me, the matters of my heart. I am very happy to come to this point, finally, with in myself, but at the same time scared as crap about what I am going to have to face in that mirror, and the work I am going to have to do to, let’s just say to “reinvent” myself, yea, that makes sense to me, I like that!

I am using the word “dig” a lot because once a seed within me, was once blooming, and has now like turned to “weeds”, weeds spreading in word, and the blossoming of the petals that once were have stopped, just stopped growing. If I dig, I think, I hope, I am, or ( we ) will find it, eventually with all the work, and the exhaustion of digging, and the faith of anything, doesn’t have to be Religious, just faith within ourselves, or me anyways I can be, or have that “characteristic” ( s ) back to the front of my mind!

The weird thing I use to do, to basically not have to deal with any given situation is to lock it away, strange as that sounds it worked for a very, very long time for me, not anymore. Now that can be of a good thing, or bad, it is all up to me!
The basic point is within myself those things I would “miss”, or say “wow, where did that go” is still here. I have to work to get it out, and that all depends upon, just like anything else, how much do I want it, with me everything, and anything has got to come from my heart. I think, if the passion is there for it, along with the drive, anyone can achieve? In fact, I basically have absolutely no drive without the passion in my heart.

I wonder if we are all wired in that same way?
Somehow, I don’t understand how, but that somehow within me changed, no bodies to blame, not even myself, but it was as if I got lost per say inside, strange enough that can happen. I come to realize all of the time I took to lock away all the negative aspects in my life in any given situation, relationship, and etc… basically in my mind just blew up.

“This is what I would do, & say”
“Okay, where did that come from, this won’t hurt me, they are words, they will only affect me if I allow them too,”
Then to take extra precaution to not get hurt, nor let that back into my life, I would unlock the door that lead to the back of my mind, I pictured it as a “huge” storage Closet!
I would get out that ever so heavy Key, open up the closet, where there were many, many shelves, filled with boxes, all were of bad memories or any sort of negative words towards and about me purposly to hurt. Mostly memories in which my mind blocked as too Tramatic to remember, our Mind is a powerful “tool,” I like to call it, the mind has a way of protecting the bad out of our memory! Pretty cool to me..

Negative words spoken, or memories I blocked that could harm me and distrupt my life and that of others in it, close to me!
I would remove a box from the many shelves within the closet, grab it, open up the lid that was sealed tight, take the lid off, and put that word ( s ) in that box, a long with the hurt feelings! Then I would put the lid back on the box, put it back on the shelf, and quickly Close and Lock that Door! “Just simply weird I know.” LOL
Like I said though, it worked, we all have so many different coping techniques, mechanisms, no matter what the word, they all mean the same, I would rather simplify my words, and use that extra energy to put those words into “Action.”
I am expressing this here like this, because writing has always helped me,

“Get it on paper Jan, get it out, and it won’t hurt as much”

Well that is a hunk of BS, cause no matter how much I “want” to deny the fact of being a (highly) sensitive woman, because of what I have been through in childhood, that is just not right, it sounds to me as a excuse of sorts, because we all have a story to tell, what we went through, seen, heard, smelt, etc..
My father being, or I should say acting the part of a Pillar of Strength, kind of made me realize that he was not as strong as perceived to be, and that is/ was okay!
I just wanted to share this very long realization with someone, my husband, God bless him, has absolutely no idea what any of this means, but I still hold him accountable for not trying to understand, what it is, it is just, “me!”

provided by : http://www.bipolar4lifesupport.co