Left behind

Left Behind

Here lies the girl I could have been
The one who could smile
Have fun
And blend in
She could dance
Regret the same things
She was by no means the dumbest
They said she was smart
But she knew for sure
She chose to remain back
Here lies the girl I am
The one who stressed
Stayed at home
And stuck out with a frown
She couldn’t dance
She stuck to people like her
And she had few regrets
Besides not having anything to regret
And she kept herself busy reading her books
And they said she would go far
But she knew she was still not there yet
The girl here now sees the girl that could have been
She doesn’t know which she prefers
But she does know
That every year
She cries that it could have been her that got left behind.

JmaC

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Crossing the BP bridge

Crossing the Bipolar Bridge:

At times the bridge is very narrow with planks that r unstable sum even missing. I continue my journey holding on tight as the bridge narrows and the planks r unsafe taking each step slowly making choices carefully as I move forward.

There r times wen the bridge will widen providing me with more space to move about with sum wat ease, as I continue on not knowing wat may lie ahead of me.

I will continue on now and tomorrow. My journey I will control it, it will not control me! I will choose where I will go, where and wen I will end my journey!!

The road is full of twists and turns, cross roads, and valleys. I may stumble but I will get up and continue to where lies my destination.

J. MaC

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Never be

NEVER BE

The world is a big place
For wandering minds
For hopeless souls
It will never be big enough.
JmaC

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Focus

FOCUS

It’s not everyday that we catch a glimpse of the sun waking up
Or going to bed.

There is beauty all around us
That we don’t often see
We just focus on misery.

JmaC

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Dark side

DARK SIDE HEART

Are you out there?
If I show you my heart will you still love me?
A full projection of myself.
Starting with the dark side.
Will you still stay?
Will you see the light?
I would see yours.
In the darkest night.
But I would not want it to be mine!
Maybe my dark side.
Made me believe I could never deserve another’s light.
Consumed by fear!
Of loving!
And losing!
Or unable to love!!!!
Dark side.
Or completely black!
Heart!.

JmaC

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JmaC quotes

When we are centered in joy we attain our wisdom..”

“Your failures won’t hurt you until you start blaming them on others…”

“Take charge of your attitude don’t let someone choose it for you….”

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Jans writings

Smile so you don’t cry.

Joke so you can.

Open your mouth without screaming.

Let the twinkle in your life be joy so it is not tears.

Pick yourself up and walk without fear

JmaC

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Motivational affirmations

Might be doubled my apologies if so

Present Tense Affirmations 
I am a highly motivated person 
I am motivated at all times
I am always motivated and always get things done on time
I am a naturally motivated individual and motivation comes naturally to me
I am naturally motivated and energized at the beginning of every day
I am highly motivated, ambitious and driven
I find it easy to motivate myself and get myself in the right state of mind
I am always looked up to as someone with high energy, drive, and motivation
I stay motivated throughout a project no matter what
I am always motivated and my positive energy motivates and lifts those around me

Future Tense Affirmations 
I am becoming more and more motivated every single day 
I will find the motivation when I need it
I am finding myself more motivated every day
I am turning into someone who is naturally motivated
I am getting more and more driven and ambitious
Every day I become more driven, motivated and ambitious
I will be hugely motivated and productive
I will become someone who is always motivated and switched on
I will become a naturally motivated, highly ambitious person
I am becoming more and more motivated in all areas of my life

Natural Affirmations
Motivation comes naturally to me
Being naturally motivated is a normal part of my life
Each day I am more and more motivated
Every day I wake up refreshed, ready to go, and full of motivation
Being motivated and driven is a natural part of who I am
Being motivated and ambitious is a part of life I enjoy
Getting myself in the right state of mind and motivated comes naturally to me
Firing myself up and becoming motivated comes naturally
Feeling motivated, energized and on fire is normal for me
Motivation, energy, drive, and passion are part of my daily life

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Bipolar disorder over view

Bipolar Disorder

Overview

Bipolar disorder (formerly called manic-depressive illness or manic depression) is a mental disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, concentration, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.

There are three types of bipolar disorder. All three types involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, irritable, or energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very “down,” sad, indifferent, or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.

  • Bipolar I Disorder— defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depressive symptoms and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
  • Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes that are typical of Bipolar I Disorder.
  • Cyclothymic Disorder (also called Cyclothymia)— defined by periods of hypomanic symptoms as well as periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.

Sometimes a person might experience symptoms of bipolar disorder that do not match the three categories listed above, which is referred to as “other specified and unspecified bipolar and related disorders.”

Bipolar disorder is typically diagnosed during late adolescence (teen years) or early adulthood. Occasionally, bipolar symptoms can appear in children. Bipolar disorder can also first appear during a woman’s pregnancy or following childbirth. Although the symptoms may vary over time, bipolar disorder usually requires lifelong treatment. Following a prescribed treatment plan can help people manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

Signs and Symptoms

People with bipolar disorder experience periods of unusually intense emotion, changes in sleep patterns and activity levels, and uncharacteristic behaviors—often without recognizing their likely harmful or undesirable effects. These distinct periods are called “mood episodes.” Mood episodes are very different from the moods and behaviors that are typical for the person. During an episode, the symptoms last every day for most of the day. Episodes may also last for longer periods, such as several days or weeks.

People having a manic episode may:

People having a depressive episode may:

Feel very “up,” “high,” elated, or irritable or touchy

Feel very sad, “down,” empty, worried, or hopeless

Feel “jumpy” or “wired”

Feel slowed down or restless

Have a decreased need for sleep

Have trouble falling asleep, wake up too early, or sleep too much

Have a loss of appetite

Experience increased appetite and weight gain

Talk very fast about a lot of different things

Talk very slowly, feel like they have nothing to say, forget a lot

Feel like their thoughts are racing

Have trouble concentrating or making decisions

Think they can do a lot of things at once

Feel unable to do even simple things

Do risky things that show poor judgment, such as eat and drink excessively, spend or give away a lot of money, or have reckless sex

Have little interest in almost all activities, a decreased or absent sex drive, or an inability to experience pleasure (“anhedonia”)

Feel like they are unusually important, talented, or powerful

Feel hopeless or worthless, think about death or suicide

Sometimes people experience both manic and depressive symptoms in the same episode. This kind of episode is called an episode with mixed features. People experiencing an episode with mixed features may feel very sad, empty, or hopeless, while, at the same, time feeling extremely energized.

A person may have bipolar disorder even if their symptoms are less extreme. For example, some people with bipolar disorder (Bipolar II) experience hypomania, a less severe form of mania. During a hypomanic episode, a person may feel very good, be able to get things done, and keep up with day-to-day life. The person may not feel that anything is wrong, but family and friends may recognize the changes in mood or activity levels as possible bipolar disorder. Without proper treatment, people with hypomania can develop severe mania or depression.

Diagnosis

Proper diagnosis and treatment can help people with bipolar disorder lead healthy and active lives. Talking with a doctor or other licensed health care provider is the first step. The health care provider can complete a physical exam and order necessary medical tests to rule out other conditions. The health care provider may then conduct a mental health evaluation or provide a referral to a trained mental health care provider, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or clinical social worker who has experience in diagnosing and treating bipolar disorder.

Mental health care providers usually diagnose bipolar disorder based on a person’s symptoms, lifetime history, experiences, and, in some cases, family history. Accurate diagnosis in youth is particularly important. You can find tips for talking with your health care provider in the NIMH fact sheet on Taking Control of Your Mental Health: Tips for Talking with Your Health Care Provider.

Note for Health Care Providers: People with bipolar disorder are more likely to seek help when they are depressed than when they are experiencing mania or hypomania. Taking a careful medical history is essential to ensure that bipolar disorder is not mistaken for major depression. This is especially important when treating an initial episode of depression as antidepressant medications can trigger a manic episode in people who have an increased chance of having bipolar disorder.

Bipolar Disorder and Other Conditions

Some bipolar disorder symptoms are similar to those of other illnesses, which can make it challenging for a health care provider to make a diagnosis. In addition, many people may have bipolar disorder along with another mental disorder or condition, such as an anxiety disordersubstance use disorder, or an eating disorder. People with bipolar disorder have an increased chance of having thyroid disease, migraine headaches, heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other physical illnesses.

Psychosis: Sometimes, a person with severe episodes of mania or depression may experience psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations or delusions. The psychotic symptoms tend to match the person’s extreme mood. For example:

  • People having psychotic symptoms during a manic episode may have the unrealistic belief that they are famous, have a lot of money, or have special powers.
  • People having psychotic symptoms during a depressive episode may falsely believe they are financially ruined and penniless, have committed a crime, or have an unrecognized serious illness.

As a result, people with bipolar disorder who also have psychotic symptoms are sometimes incorrectly diagnosed with schizophrenia. When people have symptoms of bipolar disorder and also experience periods of psychosis that are separate from mood episodes, the appropriate diagnosis may be schizoaffective disorder.

Anxiety: It is common for people with bipolar disorder to also have an anxiety disorder.

Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): It is common for people with bipolar disorder to also have ADHD.

Misuse of Drugs or Alcohol: People with bipolar disorder may misuse alcohol or drugs and engage in other high-risk behaviors at times of impaired judgment during manic episodes. Although the negative effects of alcohol use or drug use may be most evident to family, friends, and health care providers, it is important to recognize the presence of an associated mental disorder.

Eating Disorders: In some cases, people with bipolar disorder also have an eating disorder, such as binge eating or bulimia.

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How to cope with bipolar disorder

No matter how down or out of control you feel, it’s important to remember that you’re not powerless when it comes to bipolar disorder. Beyond the treatment you get from your doctor or therapist, there are many things you can do for yourself to reduce your symptoms and stay on track.

Living well with bipolar disorder requires certain adjustments. Like diabetics who take insulin or recovering alcoholics who avoid drinking, if you have bipolar disorder, it’s important to make healthy choices for yourself. Making these healthy choices will help you keep your symptoms under control, minimize mood episodes, and take control of your life.

Managing bipolar disorder starts with proper treatment, including medication and therapy. But there is so much more you can do to help yourself on a day-to-day basis. These tips can help you influence the course of your illness, enabling you to take greater control over your symptoms, to stay well longer, and to quickly rebound from any mood episode or relapse.

Living with bipolar disorder tip 1: Get involved in your treatment

Be a full and active participant in your own treatment. Learn everything you can about bipolar disorder. Become an expert on the illness. Study up on the symptoms, so you can recognize them in yourself, and research all your available treatment options. The more informed you are, the better prepared you’ll be to deal with symptoms and make good choices for yourself.

Using what you’ve learned about bipolar disorder, collaborate with your doctor or therapist in the treatment planning process. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions or questions. The most beneficial relationships between patient and healthcare provider work as a partnership. You may find it helpful to draw up a treatment contract outlining the goals you and your provider have agreed upon.

Improve your treatment by:

Being patient. Don’t expect an immediate and total cure. Have patience with the treatment process. It can take time to find the right program that works for you.

Communicating with your treatment provider. Your treatment program will change over time, so keep in close contact with your doctor or therapist. Talk to your provider if your condition or needs change and be honest about your symptoms and any medication side effects.

Taking your medication as instructed. If you’re taking medication, follow all instructions and take it faithfully. Don’t skip or change your dose without first talking with your doctor.

Getting therapy. While medication may be able to manage some of the symptoms of bipolar disorder, therapy teaches you skills you can use in all areas of your life. Therapy can helpyou learn how to deal with your disorder, cope with problems, regulate your mood, change the way you think, and improve your relationships.

Tip 2: Monitor your symptoms and moods

In order to stay well, it’s important to be closely attuned to the way you feel. By the time obvious symptoms of mania or depression appear, it is often too late to intercept the mood swing, so keep a close watch for subtle changes in your mood, sleeping patterns, energy level, and thoughts. If you catch the problem early and act swiftly, you may be able to prevent a minor mood change from turning into a full-blown episode of mania or depression.

Know your triggers and early warning signs

It’s important to recognize the warning signs of an oncoming manic or depressive episode. Make a list of early symptoms that preceded your previous mood episodes. Also try to identify the triggers, or outside influences, that have led to mania or depression in the past. Common triggers include:

  • stress
  • financial difficulties
  • arguments with your loved ones
  • problems at school or work
  • seasonal changes
  • lack of sleep

Common red flags for relapseWarning signs of depression

  • You’ve stopped cooking your own meals.
  • You’ve stopped mixing with friends.
  • People bother you.
  • You crave sugary food such as chocolate.
  • You’re getting frequent headaches.
  • You don’t care about others.
  • You need more sleep and take naps during the day.

Warning signs of mania or hypomania

  • You can’t concentrate.
  • You find myself reading lots of books at once.
  • You’re talking faster than normal.
  • You feel irritable.
  • You’re hungry all the time.
  • Friends have commented on your irritable mood.
  • You have more energy than usual so need to be moving.

Knowing your early warning signs and triggers won’t do you much good if you aren’t keeping close tabs on how you’re feeling. By checking in with yourself through regular mood monitoring, you can be sure that red flags don’t get lost in the shuffle of your busy, daily life.

Keeping a mood chart is one way to monitor your symptoms and moods. A mood chart is a daily log of your emotional state and other symptoms you’re having. It can also include information such as how many hours of sleepyou’re getting, your weight, medications you’re taking, and any alcohol or drug use. You can use your mood chart to spot patterns and indicators of trouble ahead.

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