Develop Your Spiritual Resources

Nurturing and developing your spirituality may be just as important as eating a healthy diet, exercising, and buildingstrong relationships. Taking the time to reconnect with what you find meaningful in life and returning to life’s big questions can enhance your own sense of connection with something larger than yourself.

Cultivate empathy and compassion

Empathy is the ability and willingness to fully understand another person’s experience and connect it to your own—for example, rather than seeing an irritable coworker as a nuisance, you may recognize that they are reacting to stress in the workplace. Compassion is the practice of responding to this realization with kindness—because you understand why the coworker is in a bad mood, you respond with extra patience and listen deeply when they complain, rather than snapping back.

Andrew Weil, author of Spontaneous Happiness, describes empathy and compassion as “learnable skills that can bring greater happiness into your life and improve all of your relationships.” They are important to spiritual development, he explains, because they help you get out of self-centered ways of thinking and help you make connections with others. There are many ways to develop your sense of empathy and compassion, including:

  • Listening deeply. Let go of assumptions that others feel the way you do, and allow yourself to fully listen to the way they describe their experience. Prioritize what the other person has to say above what you yourself would like to say or gain from a given conversation and just listen.
  • Taking others’ perspectives into account. In addition to simply listening to others, open yourself up to imagining what it would be like to be in their shoes. How would you feel if you were in their situation?
  • Look for the good. Positivity researcher Barbara Fredrickson recommends boosting compassion by actively considering others’ positive qualities. Encouraging yourself to acknowledge the whole picture of another person will help you see them as a complex, dynamic human who is worthy of kindness and compassion.

Identify (and live by) your beliefs and values

Making a list of your beliefs and values will help you live with intention. This list will be fluid, so recognize that it’s natural to shift and revise your values throughout life. Some of the questions you may ask yourself are:

  • What matters most to me?
  • What drives my actions?
  • What do I believe is right?

If you need help coming up with your values, you might try a value sort activity.

Find a spiritual community and friends

Join a spiritual group, whether that is a church or mosque, meditation center, yoga class, or a local group that meets to discuss spiritual issues. The benefits of social support are well documented, and having a spiritual community to turn to for fellowship can provide a sense of belonging and support.

Practice forgiveness

Letting go of blame is not easy, but the rewards of relinquishing negative feelings are aplenty. To practice forgiveness, Stanford Forgiveness Project director Fred Luskin suggests finding the right perspective—parsing out whether your feelings are coming from the actual experience of someone wronging you, or whether your anger is intensifying as you re-hash the situation. See how those feelings are affecting you, and let go of what is not helpful. Be gentle to yourself as well—you don’t have to re-establish contact with the person who wronged you in order to forgive. As Luskin says, “Forgiveness is for you and no one else.”

Seek transcendence through nature, art, or music

  • man sitting beside tree in beautiful park.

    Spend time outside. Feeling aconnectedness to nature has been linked to decreased stress, better connections with other people, and a heightened sense ofpurpose and oneness with the world. Take a leisurely walk outside alone or with friends, or work in the garden, soaking in the details: the expansiveness of the sky, the wind moving through the trees.

  • Allow yourself to get lost in music you enjoy. Whether it’s listening to an album on your headphones or playing the piano yourself,music can incite feelings of connectedness, purpose, meaning, faith, and hope.  Close your eyes and allow yourself to fully immerse in the listening experience.
  • Sit with a piece of art. This could be a painting in a museum, a sculpture in a local park, or even a piece of colorful graffiti—anything that calls out to you. Ask yourself why you are drawn to this particular piece. Do you recognize something about yourself or some universal truth in its colors, shapes, or textures?

Be good to yourself

The nonphysical aspects of spirituality can make it feel as if it is a remote practice, separate from the rest of your life. But this isn’t true—spirituality, just like the other aspects of wellbeing, is profoundly influenced by other factors in your lifestyle.

Exercising regularly and eating a nutrient-rich diet with lots of vegetables and fruits is one way of reminding yourself that you care deeply about this life and this body. Paying attention to what you eat is important, too: according to Jon Kabat Zinn, practicing mindful eating “allows you to drop right into the knowing in ways that are effortless, totally natural, and entirely beyond words and thinking. Such an exercise delivers wakefulness immediately.”

Treating yourself with compassion is just as important as treating others well, says Kristin Neff. “When we experience warm and tender feelings toward ourselves, we are altering our bodies as well as our minds. Rather than feeling worried and anxious, we feel calm, content, trusting, and secure.” The broadening effect of these positive emotions can enhance our sense of curiosity, wonder, and awe—all feelings that contribute to spirituality.

Make contemplative practice a part of your everyday life

The benefits of adopting a contemplative practice—such as meditation, prayer, yoga, or journaling—have widespread effects not just on spirituality, but on physical and emotional health as well.

  • Take yoga class or practice chair yoga at work
  • Dedicate 15 minutes each day to writing in a journal
  • Listen to a guided audio meditation
  • Join a spiritual community, such as a church, prayer group, or meditation center to share a contemplative experience with others
  • Eat mindfully, savoring and appreciating the food that you have and minimizing distractions during meals
  • Set aside time for prayer or reflection each day
  • Try a guided body scan
  • Watch a nature-guided relaxation video
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7 spiritual needs

Seven Spiritual Needs

Based on more than 30 years of psychological counseling and pastoral care, Howard Clinebell believed that humans have seven spiritual hungers in common. As you read through them, consider whether you recognize any of these spiritual needs in yourself. Are there particular areas of “spiritual hunger” in your life that need more attention than others?

Specifically, Clinebell felt that human beings long to:

  1. Experience the healing and empowerment of love—from others, self, and an ultimate source.
  2. Experience renewing times of transcendence—expansive moments beyond the immediate sensory spheres.
  3. Have vital beliefs that lend meaning and hope in the midst of losses, tragedies, and failures.
  4. Have values, priorities, and life commitments centered in issues of justice, integrity, and love to provide guidance in personally and socially responsible living.
  5. Discover and develop inner wisdom, creativity, and love of self.
  6. Develop a deepening awareness of oneness with other people, the natural world, and all living things.
  7. Have spiritual resources to help heal grief, guilt, resentment, unforgiveness, self-rejection, and shame and deepen experiences of trust, self-esteem, hope, joy and love of life.
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Let Your Emotions Out Positive Affirmations

Present Tense Affirmations
I always express my emotions
I let others know how I am really feeling
I always speak my mind
I show the world who I truly am
I allow others to see the real me
I stand up for myself and tell people how I feel
I am in touch with my deepest emotions
I stand up for what I believe in
I am comfortable confronting others and telling them how I feel
I show my true self to family and friends

 

Future Tense Affirmations
I will let my emotions out
I am transforming into someone who is unafraid of being their true self
I will always express my opinion
I am finding it easier to tell others how I am feeling
I will always stand up for myself
I am developing the courage to show people the real me
It is becoming easier to say what I want
I will always tell others what I really think
Letting my emotions out is starting to feel normal
I will show people the real me

 

Natural Affirmations
Expressing my emotions comes naturally to me
I love sharing my feelings with others
Telling others what I think is important to me
Letting out my emotions is healthy
Expressing my emotions is improving the way I feel
I am the kind of person who just tells others how I feel and what I want
It is important that I voice my opinion
It feels good to show people the real me
I have the courage to be myself at all times
I stand up for what I believe in
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Anger Management Positive Affirmations

Present Tense Affirmations
I am in control
I am calm, focused, and relaxed
I remain calm even when under intense stress
I have the power to regulate my emotions
I always stay calm in difficult or frustrating situations
I am able to diffuse my anger and channel it in a more productive way
I control my anger by expressing myself in a firm yet positive manner
I always speak my mind rather than let frustrations build up
I am able to calm myself down and detach from anger
I allow myself to acknowledge angry feelings without losing control

 

Future Tense Affirmations
I will control myself
I am starting to effectively manage my anger
Staying relaxed is becoming easier
I will remain calm and centered in frustrating situations
Managing my anger will create a better life for myself and my loved ones
I am transforming into someone who confronts problems constructively
Each day it is becoming easier to diffuse my anger
I am gaining more and more control over my emotions
I will become a positive person whom others can turn to without fear
Anger management is changing my life for the better

 

Natural Affirmations
Being calm, relaxed, and in control is normal for me
Controlling my anger comes naturally to me
I find it easy to calm myself down and relax
It is important that I learn to manage my anger
I believe I can break free from anger and live a better life
Diffusing anger is easy for me
Thinking positively in tough situations is just something I do naturally
I owe it to myself to manage my anger
Managing anger will help to repair and strengthen my bond to friends and family
I am a naturally calm, easy going, and positive person
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When recovery from depression or bipolar disorder seems hopeless, are there other options? A patient’s perspective

My experience with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) began in 1995, when I opted for ECT as a last resort for treating my bipolar disorder. For so many people who were termed medication resistant and suffering with depression or bipolar disorder, ECT was the “last stop” when it came to treatment. But the variety of medications and other treatments now available to patients suffering from depression has expanded dramatically over the last 17 years.

I recently became extremely curious about a treatment for depression called TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation). I was surprised to discover that even though TMS is a non-invasive outpatient procedure with few side effects, does not require anesthesia, and was approved by the FDA as far back as 2008, it is still very much “under the radar” and is a treatment which many patients are not very familiar.

According to Kira Stein, M.D., psychiatrist and medical director of Los Angeles-based West Coast TMS Institute, “In a recently published multicenter naturalistic study, 58% of patients significantly responded to TMS treatment, with 37% undergoing complete remission.”

Today, TMS is primarily being used to treat those of us suffering with depression. The statistics for depression are alarming: 1 in 6 people experience it in their lifetime, which means that more than 50 million Americans are likely to struggle with clinical depression. Unfortunately, of this population, only 1 in 4 people get adequate treatment. One of the biggest concerns is the risk of suicide, as more than 36,000 people in the United States take their lives every year. Untreated depression, which causes disability at work and disrupted family and interpersonal relationships, can also lead to self-medication with drugs and alcohol. Depression has reached epidemic proportions and has become a silent killer.

When I speak to audiences about mental illness, I always encourage people who suffer from depression to seek advice from a mental health professional. Sometimes, getting people to overcome the stigma of suffering from depression is one of the hardest jobs I have to do. It is often the patient who resists seeking help, often because of the stigma, who really ends up at risk. But today, there are more treatment options than when I was ill. Technology is giving doctors more tools, and patients much more hope, for recovery.


Andy Behrman is the author of “Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania,” a personal story about his bipolar disorder, his experience electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), and his recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Behrman advocates for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. He speaks to college audiences, health care professionals, and local and national mental health support groups working to stop stigma surrounding mental illness.

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