Hi I have explained before about my computer it is now in the shop I am using a very old one and do not have my pages saved I noticed a few new people following just want to let you know I will be back to posting when it is done after today I wont be posting as much as I have been I will do my best but I will give you what I can it will be another 7 days til i have my computer back….
Jan Support @ http://www.mentalhealthsupportcommunity.com
“Forgiveness had never been my forte, nor my aspiration. If I thought of forgiveness at all, I did so with disdain, as something weak and almost pathetic,” writes award-winning journalist Megan Feldman Bettencourt in this wide-ranging and revelatory exploration of forgiveness. Armed with a batch of serious and sobering questions, she travels throughout the United States and even to the heart of Africa.
Here are a few of the questions she asks: “Is forgiveness merely altruistic and self-sacrificial, or is it also motivated by self-interest? Is forgiveness possible after the most extreme of offenses, such as genocide? Is forgiveness natural, and does it provide health benefits? What are the roles, and the importance, of apology and redemption? How does forgiveness help sustain interpersonal relationships? Is forgiveness a onetime event, or a habit? And, if individuals can practice forgiveness, what about communities and even nations?”
The story that serves as a catalyst for her re-framing of forgiveness is the one of Azim Khamisa who befriended the youth who killed his son and then began with him an organization teaching nonviolence in public middle schools. Among the many other examples which follow are the Fetzer Institute’s study of love and forgiveness (with 43 scientific studies on the health impacts of this spiritual practice); the forgiveness therapy of Dr. Robert Enright; and Dr. Frederic Luskin’s ongoing workshops and research studies at Stanford University’s Forgiveness Project.
In addition to scholars and scientists who provide the author with input are individuals such as a burn surgeon, a recovering alcoholic, and a genocide survivor in Rwanda; programs that facilitate forgiveness in schools; and a mountain summer camp where Palestinian and Israeli teens came together to confront the obstacles to forgiveness and reconciliation.
Most surprising to Bettencourt is her discovery that meditation and compassion in the Buddhist tradition open hearts and serve as a spur to serving others. She closes with two inspiring segments on restorative justice and peacemaking as offshoots of the spiritual practices of forgiveness and empathy.
Sylvia Boorstein is one of the world’s most esteemed teachers of Buddhist wisdom and practice; she is profiled in S&P’s Living Spiritual Teachers Project. In this exclusive e-course, she offers a summation of her years as a preeminent teacher of lovingkindness meditation. Her inimitable teaching style is chock-full of timeless wisdom woven into her own, unique insights, and delightful stories.
Lovingkindness is called metta in Pali, the original language of the Buddha. Metta is a derivative of the word for “friend.”
“Although metta has often be translated into English as ‘lovingkindness,’ ” Sylvia says, “I like thinking of it as a friendliness practice, the cultivation of a mind that is so saturated with good will that it responds uniformly to all situations with benevolence.”
Few things in life are more important than benevolence, not only toward others but also toward ourselves. And this is where this Lovingkindness retreat begins. “The first recipient of wishes of my good will needs to be me,” Sylvia reminds us. “We need to feel personally at ease in order to pass good wishes on to others. Lovingkindess can help us change the habits of the mind and heart in such a fundamental way that every challenge in our lives can be met with greater and greater ease and meaning, which not only benefits ourselves but also everyone we know and meet.”
The retreat then leads us through a series of lessons and meditation practices that show us how to have an abiding good will toward friends, family members, colleagues, people we see on the street and in stores, and even those whom Sylvia calls “difficult people” — people who have hurt us or simply rub us the wrong way.
“Metta is not about erasing emotional responses,” Sylvia says. “I’m sure I have a wider palette of emotional responses available to me now than I did 35 years ago when I began this practice. I think we all want to be able to love profoundly and to respond to and engage fully with people and situations we find problematic on behalf of a more peaceful and just world. I’m positive we do that best when our minds are at ease and unconfused.”
The retreat runs from September 5 – 30 and consists of 12 emails, delivered on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Sylvia shares her personal experiences and insights, along with ancient, timeless recitations that are said to help develop feelings of good will. Each email also includes a link to a short audio that has Sylvia’s calm yet lively voice reviewing the day’s practices.
Two other elements of the e-course will support your practice of Lovingkindness. On September 21 (7 – 8 pm ET), Sylvia will do a one-hour teleconference to answer your questions and offer encouragement. Then throughout the course, Sylvia’s colleague James Kullander will be present in the online Practice Circle to comment on your practice experiences and responses to the e-course from participants from around the world. James created the popular S&P e-courses on Resilience and Solitude.
This Lovingkindness Meditation retreat will help you live with ease and less confusion. It offers a well-rounded and expansive view of a universal human desire to love and to love well. (4 CEHs for Chaplains available.)
Talk Radio (1988) is a firecracker of a film about the shock-jock star of a popular late-night call-in radio show in Dallas, Texas. He’s a verbal spritzer in love with his ability to handle the loneliness, anger, and exhibitionism of those who talk to him over the airwaves. The callers are filled with rage about their pain, their powerlessness, and their disappointments in life.Such shows are still on the radio today, and now you can find the same kind of negative and toxic discussion of public issues on television. Just tune in to Fox News to hear some of the same kind of nasty personal attacks used by shock jocks in the early years of the culture wars. Evgeny Morozov, author of The Net Delusion: The Dark Side of Internet Freedom, is convinced that Twitter brings out the worst in people. “You’re straining after eyeballs, not big thoughts. So you go for the shallow, funny, contrarian or cynical.”
The Internet is set up to encourage people expressing opinions, and one thing we are seeing is a lot of mean-spirited and negative people. There are active in blog comments, Facebook updates, and tweets. As a result, more online sites and bloggers have banned comments. We post links to our film reviews on RottenTomatoes.com and were astounded by the language, tone, and sheer grossness of the comments we got on some reviews; we were not unhappy when Rotten Tomatoes decided to disable comments on reviewers’ links. In social media, people are using the option of unfriending someone or blocking posts.
What else can be done about this scourge? In the Benedictine monastic tradition, there is a practice called keeping custody of the tongue. The idea is to consciously pay attention to what you say at all times. It is okay to speak your mind and even to express outrage, but you must do it with an awareness that harsh words can be very harmful.
After doing this practice for a while, it becomes increasingly clear how difficult it is to not say negative things about others. Be patient with yourself and then let the practice of custody of the tongue open your heart to the toxic purveyors of negativity and personal attack. Recognize how difficult it is for them to curb their tongues. Empathize with them and include them in your prayers.
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